DFormal display for discussion XIV

Smoke

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Whats wrong with this display?

Whats right about this display?
 

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chappy56

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Again, the scroll is too far to the left and the accent is to small.
 

Smoke

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Are you "looking" at the scroll
Are you "looking " at the accent.

Maybe not clear due to size. Do you get anything from the scroll. Read it first. Does it speak.

Please do not look at these evocative pieces with the thought to just find what is wrong with them. That is not the point, and not the point of viewing and displaying good bonsai.

there is a message here, not readily apparent, not easily seen due to picture.

Look for the message, display is not about size of elemnts or moving elements to impress. Display is about conveying a message to a viewer not picking it apart.

Find any message and post that. If you can't find any message then the artist failed at story telling.John found my message even though I had many technical flaws for a keido display, but the point is he found my message. I could care less where a piece places if the viewer communicates with what the artist was trying to communicate. What John has said about my display speaks volumes for me.

Cheers, Al
 
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DaveV

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The scroll looks too thin. The trees do not harmonize with the scroll. The scroll would harmonize better with a literati style tree.
 

pdbacos

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I usually like to just lurk and keep to myself but maybe just this once, I'll pipe up....

I really like the displays you've been posting. Apart from compositional issues like balance and scale, I've been drawn to the ideas of "the stories" and "the ideas" being that the bonsai artists are trying to convey.

I'm not sure what the accent is... It looks like some kind of figurine, but I can't quite see enough detail. For me, this display is evocative of ikebana: In traditional, Japanese flower arranging, the three elements depicted are usually heaven, earth and man in a harmonious arrangement. For me, the scroll evokes heaven; the bonsai, earth; and the figurine, man (I'm just guessing at what the figure is).

P
 
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Are you "looking" at the scroll
Are you "looking " at the accent.

Maybe not clear due to size. Do you get anything from the scroll. Read it first. Does it speak.

Please do not look at these evocative pieces with the thought to just find what is wrong with them. That is not the point, and not the point of viewing and displaying good bonsai.

there is a message here, not readily apparent, not easily seen due to picture.

Look for the message, display is not about size of elemnts or moving elements to impress. Display is about conveying a message to a viewer not picking it apart.

Find any message and post that. If you can't find any message then the artist failed at story telling.John found my message even though I had many technical flaws for a keido display, but the point is he found my message. I could care less where a piece places if the viewer communicates with what the artist was trying to communicate. What John has said about my display speaks volumes for me.

Cheers, Al

Al,
This is a great post. Great information for those who have ears to hear. My only contribution might be to say I don't get enough detail in the photo to really render a judgment. It's a nice display with a good tree but I can't make out enough detail to get closer to answering your questions. Perhaps a larger, higher-resolution photo hosted elsewhere might make a stronger impression.

Chris
 

Yamadori

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The figure is a man walking with a burden on his back and a staff for support. The title was something like "Almost to Rest" or "Almost to comfort", or "Nearly There". I can't quite remember the exact title but the figure was very nice.
 

Smoke

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The title was "Soon shade and rest"
 
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