Does ANYONE really like or appreciate the bitchiness on this site?

Gsquared

Shohin
Messages
385
Reaction score
1,167
Location
Portland (ish), OR
USDA Zone
8B
I've been a member on this site for a couple of months now, and have found some really useful answers to some questions I've asked. I have encountered some delightful, kind and helpful people. I sincerely thank them for that, so please don't read the following as an indictment of the entire community.

Regrettably I have also found that there are certain members on Bonsai Nut who are unpleasant bullies and seem generally dreadful people. We've all seen posters whose responses are nasty and downright cruel. Some of them have titles like "masterpiece", but their behavior is anything but masterful. A true master guides the apprentice so that they can master their art. They do it through instruction and critique, not by ripping them a new one because they ask a question.

I can't stay silent any more. I've seen people who are new to bonsai get ripped to shreds for asking a question. I seen posts that call members stupid. I've seen members unhelpfully criticize aesthetic decisions. Critique is constructive and offers solutions. Frequently someone will ask a question and get slammed by a member because their tree hadn't enough taper in the trunk when they were asking for help with aphids! I've seen someone call legit questions "insipid". I have seen posts that have rudely told members that they "didn't think they have what it takes" and I've seen other members defending their abominable behavior. Not cool. Defending cruelty just because someone has had a long association with this site is just as reprehensible and shouldn't be tolerated.

This is not about "growing a thicker skin" as many have suggested. This is about developing some manners, this is about having simple decency. It's about putting the feelings of someone else ahead of your desire to toss out a withering quip for your own amusement. It's about learning that your crap stinks when you spew it forth, and that it hurts people when you do. Calling people stupid, or their questions insipid, or some of the sexist remarks I've seen are just abusive and it isn't acceptable. It doesn't impress and frankly, if I were the moderator, I would yank abusive users off the site. Period.

So how do we clean up our act? By speaking out. From now on, when I encounter a remark that is truly mean spirited and not constructive, I'm going to call that person out for their abusive behavior and would encourage others to do the same.
 

milehigh_7

Mister 500,000
Messages
4,920
Reaction score
6,096
Location
Somewhere South of Phoenix
USDA Zone
Hot
I've been a member on this site for a couple of months now, and have found some really useful answers to some questions I've asked. I have encountered some delightful, kind and helpful people. I sincerely thank them for that, so please don't read the following as an indictment of the entire community.

Regrettably I have also found that there are certain members on Bonsai Nut who are unpleasant bullies and seem generally dreadful people. We've all seen posters whose responses are nasty and downright cruel. Some of them have titles like "masterpiece", but their behavior is anything but masterful. A true master guides the apprentice so that they can master their art. They do it through instruction and critique, not by ripping them a new one because they ask a question.

I can't stay silent any more. I've seen people who are new to bonsai get ripped to shreds for asking a question. I seen posts that call members stupid. I've seen members unhelpfully criticize aesthetic decisions. Critique is constructive and offers solutions. Frequently someone will ask a question and get slammed by a member because their tree hadn't enough taper in the trunk when they were asking for help with aphids! I've seen someone call legit questions "insipid". I have seen posts that have rudely told members that they "didn't think they have what it takes" and I've seen other members defending their abominable behavior. Not cool. Defending cruelty just because someone has had a long association with this site is just as reprehensible and shouldn't be tolerated.

This is not about "growing a thicker skin" as many have suggested. This is about developing some manners, this is about having simple decency. It's about putting the feelings of someone else ahead of your desire to toss out a withering quip for your own amusement. It's about learning that your crap stinks when you spew it forth, and that it hurts people when you do. Calling people stupid, or their questions insipid, or some of the sexist remarks I've seen are just abusive and it isn't acceptable. It doesn't impress and frankly, if I were the moderator, I would yank abusive users off the site. Period.

So how do we clean up our act? By speaking out. From now on, when I encounter a remark that is truly mean spirited and not constructive, I'm going to call that person out for their abusive behavior and would encourage others to do the same.

You don't frequent the FB bonsai groups, do you? Man this place is likely the tamest it has been in the 10 years I have been here. It's also more mellow than IBC was before this place. Perhaps there are a few folks that you may not understand their "charm" but all in all the current iteration of the Nut House is hardly even nuts anymore.

Unless...

Did you go to the tea house? If you did that's your own fault. I don't know man I don't see a problem and seeing as how you are new around these parts maybe just cool your jets and not think you run the place. If Greg wants somebody to put a sock in it, he'll tell them. Anyway, happy Easter!
 

Cadillactaste

Neagari Gal
Messages
16,262
Reaction score
20,886
Location
NE Ohio: zone 4 (USA) lake microclimate
USDA Zone
5b
Ones ignore list...makes for a more peaceful experience. Than calling one out. When I first joined...let me tell you I tried being a crusader of men. I soon learned that all I accomplished was adding fuel to the fire...so my peaceful intentions backfired.

If one wishes to do anything online...one must grow some thick skin...and learn not to take anything personal. But...if ones continue to steal your peace while here...tossing them on the ignore list...ends that tension one finds. They just disappear. Plain and simple.

This forum has came a long way since I first joined. Of course a few are on my list...making it far more peaceful. You start calling ones out...you will end up on my ignore...for I don't put up with one coming here disturbing my peace...I offered some sound advice.

Words of warning...you just tossed a target on your back.
 

milehigh_7

Mister 500,000
Messages
4,920
Reaction score
6,096
Location
Somewhere South of Phoenix
USDA Zone
Hot
I forgot to say that I and many others kinda like the bitchiness here. This is like a family, most of us have known each other for years so you can't really barge into somebody else's house and try to redecorate... Just up your bitch game and try to keep up!
 

It's Kev

Omono
Messages
1,161
Reaction score
1,629
Location
GuangZhou 广州
USDA Zone
10
Been here for one year now (I think my 1st bnut birthday is due one of these days). I have seen all sorts of post from all different sorts of people, and I have quite a few favourites who I like learning from, and then then there are others who’s posts are more of an abrasive nature. However, I don’t do the ignore list thing (don’t even know how it works) I think good advice can come from anywhere.
 

JoeH

Omono
Messages
1,090
Reaction score
990
Location
The Florida Citrus Arboretum, Winter Haven,Florida
USDA Zone
9B
After trying out Bonsai Empire, this place is a breath of fresh air. I have not noticed or experienced the "bitchiness" you refer to. Way better and way more helpful than elsewhere. Not sure where you are seeing this but some examples would go a long way to demonstrate what you are talking about.
 

milehigh_7

Mister 500,000
Messages
4,920
Reaction score
6,096
Location
Somewhere South of Phoenix
USDA Zone
Hot
After trying out Bonsai Empire, this place is a breath of fresh air. I have not noticed or experienced the "bitchiness" you refer to. Way better and way more helpful than elsewhere. Not sure where you are seeing this but some examples would go a long way to demonstrate what you are talking about.

Shut the hell up @JoeH and @thumblessprimate1 go pound sand. Love you guys and Happy Easter!
 

It's Kev

Omono
Messages
1,161
Reaction score
1,629
Location
GuangZhou 广州
USDA Zone
10
After trying out Bonsai Empire, this place is a breath of fresh air. I have not noticed or experienced the "bitchiness" you refer to. Way better and way more helpful than elsewhere. Not sure where you are seeing this but some examples would go a long way to demonstrate what you are talking about.
I haven’t been on bonsai empire, it seemed too snobby :p
 

milehigh_7

Mister 500,000
Messages
4,920
Reaction score
6,096
Location
Somewhere South of Phoenix
USDA Zone
Hot
I'll be honest for a second @Gsquared I posted something almost exactly like this somewhere between 8 and 10 years ago. The peeps had some fun with me, I got pissed they had more fun with me. Then I grew up and chilled out. Nighty nite. I mean it this time.
 

JoeH

Omono
Messages
1,090
Reaction score
990
Location
The Florida Citrus Arboretum, Winter Haven,Florida
USDA Zone
9B
In all seriousness I have yet to see what the OP is talking about. The only times I've seen anything at all anywhere near what he is talking about is if its either an obvious troll or the poster gets surly in the first place. There is one poster here that is really hardcore about the definition of yamadori, tho.
 
Top Bottom