grouper52
Masterpiece
I am sorry to have alarmed many here a few months ago. Darlene was very supportive at that time, and I'm glad she alerted Dan and Diane Robinson to keep an eye on me, which they did. My twenty year marriage ended with my wife convincing me to retire to her homeland in the Philippines in order to turn around her descent into madness from burning as an ER nurse. Over there, though she continued to become increasingly psychotic, believing me initially to be possessed by the Devil, and eventually to BE the Devil because I've practiced Tibetan Buddhism for 30 years. Her meltdown into psychosis resulted in increasingly frequent and violent physical attacks, trying to gouge my eyes out to "purify" me. She would not get help, and I simply had to leave, coming home to the US with only 4 suitcases out of all the possessions I've ever had, with which to re-start and re-build my life again from scratch at my advancing age - a very daunting task.
I sank into a deep depression upon return - a very dark space I've never even imagined after years as a psychiatrist treating people with such illnesses. There were many times of strong suicidal urges, but - although I have always been a gun guy - I knew that I would be OK if I simply didn't get a gun for a long time after this cleared ... and I still haven't gotten one because there are still moments of such thoughts, though they are fading. Divorce proceedings - which we both agree on amicably, thank goodness - are underway. But I still feel like damaged goods, and have no woman in my life, which is hard for me: I find I don't sleep well alone, nor really enjoy my life during the day without having a woman to share it with. I have heard people say "loneliness kills" - and yes, now I know what they mean. But I have decided it will not kill me.
It was several months before I had adequate digs to get some of my old trees back from Dan Robinson. The space I have here at the moment is rather limited, and, although I've bought even a few more trees to work on, my collection is still limited - but it's enough for me now. The two new ones in the photos below (two phots each) are: a field-grown cork-bark Chinese elm, and a collected Western juniper from the mountains of eastern Oregon.The others are old trusty standby's (largely left-to-right): Alaska Yellow cedar, Korean hornbeam, Katsura, Threadbranch false-cypress, Vine maple, Alpine fir, Shore pine, and Mountain hemlock. The snow, BTW - probably nothing for many of you from the north - was from a recent storm known here in these tame parts - believe it or not - as "Snowmageddon"!!! There's a cryptomeria I'll post next as well can't do so at the moment without risking the entire post, I think. Enjoy! G52
I sank into a deep depression upon return - a very dark space I've never even imagined after years as a psychiatrist treating people with such illnesses. There were many times of strong suicidal urges, but - although I have always been a gun guy - I knew that I would be OK if I simply didn't get a gun for a long time after this cleared ... and I still haven't gotten one because there are still moments of such thoughts, though they are fading. Divorce proceedings - which we both agree on amicably, thank goodness - are underway. But I still feel like damaged goods, and have no woman in my life, which is hard for me: I find I don't sleep well alone, nor really enjoy my life during the day without having a woman to share it with. I have heard people say "loneliness kills" - and yes, now I know what they mean. But I have decided it will not kill me.
It was several months before I had adequate digs to get some of my old trees back from Dan Robinson. The space I have here at the moment is rather limited, and, although I've bought even a few more trees to work on, my collection is still limited - but it's enough for me now. The two new ones in the photos below (two phots each) are: a field-grown cork-bark Chinese elm, and a collected Western juniper from the mountains of eastern Oregon.The others are old trusty standby's (largely left-to-right): Alaska Yellow cedar, Korean hornbeam, Katsura, Threadbranch false-cypress, Vine maple, Alpine fir, Shore pine, and Mountain hemlock. The snow, BTW - probably nothing for many of you from the north - was from a recent storm known here in these tame parts - believe it or not - as "Snowmageddon"!!! There's a cryptomeria I'll post next as well can't do so at the moment without risking the entire post, I think. Enjoy! G52