I hate my behaviour.....

[Fidur]

Normally I walk between my benches, looking for pests or irregularities, thinking what I should do in the future with each tree, what to prune, what to wire, what to change the style...

And suddenly without programming it, and even at night, I feel the need to make one of those changes. And the worst thing is that once I make a small change, I compulsively start making all the changes that I had thought of in all the trees and even some operations that I had not thought of before. I act feverishly on 5 or 10 of my trees, feeling a kind of possession in which I cannot control myself. While I'm doing it, I insult myself and tell myself to stop and think, but I can't control it... When I finally manage to stop, I feel bad, because I do things that I hadn't thought of doing and I even have to rectify some in later days.
I hate these pointless starts, and I tell myself this can't happen again. So, I spend weeks holding back from making modifications, and I go back to a calmer stage...which inevitably leads to another compulsive acting...
Also in the nurseries, I can go looking for good candidates, and even though I find them, I hold back. But one fine day, I go crazy and buy 2 or 3 that I had already seen and discarded (because I have too many trees to attend to).
I really want to change this behaviour....it reminds me of that in drugs addicts.
Anyone has experienced this or have a good trick to avoid it?

 

[sorce]

You have the internals to make this post.
Those same internals control your impulses.

The Aha moment I got with understanding PPB, or Keeping Potential Problems at Bay, helped me cure that illness.

Once you set out to ONLY do things at the very last moment before you can't, everything grows like 5 times as much and developes as fast.

Realize the value of think work. Exhaust yourself with thought.

Sorce

 

[Wulfskaar]

My advice is to create a calendar schedule and just try to follow that.

 

[Flowerhouse]

Kind of like what @Wulfskaar said, I write whatever I plan to do tree-wise in my tasks list. If I do more than what is planned, it will be strictly maintenance, such as snipping off a dead tip, spraying some insecticidal soap. It also helps to have multiple hobbies so I don't get too focused on just one. In addition to my little trees I also garden like a mad thing, sew things for my grandchildren, cook and bake a lot, and have a couple of fun collections that I'm always adding to.

 

[Fidur]

I imagine that what is happening to me has to do with my recent retirement (6 months already) and the excess of time that I am dedicating to bonsai. I will try to take it easy and diversify my free time.
Now I feel a bit silly for bringing it up. Thanks for putting up with this newbie's nonsense. Consider this thread closed.

 

[Wulfskaar]

I imagine that what is happening to me has to do with my recent retirement (6 months already) and the excess of time that I am dedicating to bonsai. I will try to take it easy and diversify my free time.
Now I feel a bit silly for bringing it up. Thanks for putting up with this newbie's nonsense. Consider this thread closed.

It's good to talk things out amongst friends and people in the same boat (bonsai nuts!). It often makes things more clear and easier to get past.

Also, @Flowerhouse has a good point that we should have more than one hobby in life!

 

[penumbra]

Its all good my friend.

 

[Fidur]

Oh thanks to all. My daugthers have given me no grandchildren, and I'm divorced and live alone....so this thread has been like therapy to me

 

[penumbra]

You need a feline or canine companion to stir things up.

 

[nuttiest]

First part, it sounds like you are doing the switchover from caretaker to artist and that spurs the maniacal change it up mode. That is a good thing and you can't feel bad when you go back to being curator or collector. So many roles, if it were only just paint.

 

[Colorado]

Sometimes I must remind myself that bonsai demands both discipline and restraint. I cherish these qualities more than anything else I have learned from bonsai

Hope this helps!

 

[Colorado]

And if you have extra free time, I suggest taking up ceramics! You won’t have any problem filling your time then, ha.

 

[nuttiest]

Yes clay - but then the problem is you want to do another sculpture, but you start three bonsai pots instead

 

[Cajunrider]

I imagine that what is happening to me has to do with my recent retirement (6 months already) and the excess of time that I am dedicating to bonsai. I will try to take it easy and diversify my free time.
Now I feel a bit silly for bringing it up. Thanks for putting up with this newbie's nonsense. Consider this thread closed.

Oh no you aren't getting off that easy. I am staring at retirement myself. I want to see your solution in details.

 

[Katie0317]

You need a feline or canine companion to stir things up.

I don't have it as option right now but when I do I go to the local shelter and walk dogs. It was the only time they got out of CRATES, not even runs at that time...They got two bathroom breaks a day in a tiny square of dirt. This walk meant the world to them and it could mean the world to you. Nothing will give you a sense of fulfillment and doing something that matters like volunteering for animals. Hope you'll consider it. @penumbra was absolutely right.

 

[BonjourBonsai]

Bonsai for me is an escape, a co dependency, a refuge, a peace, a salve, a challenge, a puzzle, a disease, and a cure. The elusive goal is beauty through work. It draws out the parts of me that need to be needed. Enjoy the ride because the destination always changes.

Sometimes I sit and study a tree for a good long time thinking about how I might shape it. Sometimes, I end up doing nothing. In those instances, the tree shaped me more than I it. That is part of the road. Let the tree slow you down. They have their own rhythms that can't be ignored.

 

[Carol 83]

I envy your amount of free time. I just started a new job and it is consuming me. The weekends have been so busy, I am lucky to get my trees watered properly. They need some attention and I just have not had the time. I think it's really time to pare down my collection.

 

[Hartinez]

Be easy on yourself Fidur! At the end of the day they are just trees, not crack pipes. We’re only humans.

 

[Michigan Tree Murderer]

Normally I walk between my benches, looking for pests or irregularities, thinking what I should do in the future with each tree, what to prune, what to wire, what to change the style...

And suddenly without programming it, and even at night, I feel the need to make one of those changes. And the worst thing is that once I make a small change, I compulsively start making all the changes that I had thought of in all the trees and even some operations that I had not thought of before. I act feverishly on 5 or 10 of my trees, feeling a kind of possession in which I cannot control myself. While I'm doing it, I insult myself and tell myself to stop and think, but I can't control it... When I finally manage to stop, I feel bad, because I do things that I hadn't thought of doing and I even have to rectify some in later days.
I hate these pointless starts, and I tell myself this can't happen again. So, I spend weeks holding back from making modifications, and I go back to a calmer stage...which inevitably leads to another compulsive acting...
Also in the nurseries, I can go looking for good candidates, and even though I find them, I hold back. But one fine day, I go crazy and buy 2 or 3 that I had already seen and discarded (because I have too many trees to attend to).
I really want to change this behaviour....it reminds me of that in drugs addicts.
Anyone has experienced this or have a good trick to avoid it?

I've always used gardening as a stress reliever, the calm, the fruiting rewards, the learning of loss and the experience of seeing something new. Flowers, Vegetables, Trees, bushes, & Bonsai all teach me, good or bad I learn. (remembering is another story) Mother nature is wonderful to watch and something we can't control, but I love it.

 

[Ugo]

Hi friend,

I totally understand what you are saying as I had the same bad habit when I got more into bonsai.
Wait wait wait and then do all at once..
Ot wasnt good for the trees and the results were not there so I changed it.

As I can read people shared their opinions and own ways to do things so I would like to share mine.

Now I concentrate on respecting my principal trigger: the seasons changes.
I wait to see the normal known behavior of my tree and their current state on a given season and start working.
Except for a few multiple flush trees that I can prune 1-3 times during the growing season.

Second trigger is the health of the tree if I dont have good signs, no work and I concentrate on others.

Hope it helps
Ugo