Jokes here please!

[HorseloverFat]

@liquid_back_draft sent this to me this morning!

 

[leatherback]

@liquid_back_draft sent this to me this morning!

View attachment 358275

This joke is so old, it forgot its own punchline!

 

[HorseloverFat]

“Please don’t call my son, Rosana Rosana-Dana.”

- this was just said to me... I’ll leave out the specifics.

 

[HorseloverFat]

My kids: “Happy St. Patrick’s day!”

Me: “Well thanks, but that’s mostly for you guys.. You guys are Irish.. I’m not...at all.”

My Son: “We can magically MAKE you Irish, just for today!”

Me: “Aww.. no thanks, that’s alright.”

 

[Mike Corazzi]

I got arrested for illegally downloading Wikipedia in its entirety.

As they were cuffing me I told them, “Wait! I can explain everything!”

 

[HorseloverFat]

 

[Mapleminx]

 

[Mapleminx]

 

[Mapleminx]

 

[Mapleminx]

 

[HorseloverFat]

I, just this morning, honest-to-goodness had to speak the sentences:

“Guys! ...PLEASE stop sticking fruit snacks onto your LEGOs hands! ...I KNOW they’re interstellar gloves!”

 

[Mapleminx]

Oh my gosh, DEFINITELY with the covid homeschooling added in.

 

[HorseloverFat]

I just had to pull out my “dad voice” for this lil’ number:

“You DON’T armwrestle.. with cats!”

 

[ShadyStump]

What do you get when you stick your hand in a blender?

A handshake.

(I actually got this one from a student's mom during parent teacher conferences.)

 

[HorseloverFat]

My cat just did a decent “Janis Joplin” impression.

(Yes, the SAME cat from above entry)

 

[Forsoothe!]

So, your cat takes drugs?

 

[HorseloverFat]

So, your cat takes drugs?

He does eat Poinsettias one leaf at a time.

 

[Wires_Guy_wires]

Anyone good with cartoon drawings?
I work in genetics and I thought of this one:

Doctor: Hmmm the results are in, it looks like there are some rare inversions in your DNA.
Patient: AND?!
Doctor: Exactly!

 

[leatherback]

Anyone good with cartoon drawings?

dunno how serious you are. A friend of mine has a comic illustration company

LUVANE

www.luvane.com

 

[Forsoothe!]

Well, I had to look up inversion, and it means just what I thought it did, so I still don't get it.