Jokes here please!

[Wires_Guy_wires]

So i was discussing generalized “wormhole theory” in a matter relative to my sons.. explaining how space/time are “bent”.. ect..

My oldest looks at me, somewhat concerned and says, “That’s great, but what does that do to the worms?”

Well, in relativity, the early bird gets the worm and the bookworms get the relativity.

 

[Forsoothe!]

 

[Forsoothe!]

 

[leatherback]

 

[Mapleminx]

 

[Mapleminx]

Never gets old..
Bakery vs Cat

 

[HorseloverFat]

A man is walking home from work one day, and is savagely beaten, robbed and left for dead.

As he lies there, bleeding, struggling futilely for air, a psychologist walking by, gasps, runs to his side and exclaimes, “My GOD... whoever did this REALLY needs help!

(Got into some of my university notes)

 

[HorseloverFat]

“A Fruedian slip is when you SAY one thing, but MEAN your mother.”

 

[HorseloverFat]

Analyst: “Ok.. you feel STRONGLY that you are, in fact, a canine.. Let’s talk about this. How long has this been going on?”

Patient: “Well.. since I was a puppy.”

 

[leatherback]

 

[Kadebe]

Whatever one says or writes about the year 2020.... so far the chronology of the months has been respected.

 

[Mapleminx]

 

[HorseloverFat]

 

[Forsoothe!]

 

[leatherback]

@Graft

 

[Kadebe]

A conversation on a first date:
She: "I love animals"
He: "I work with animals"
She: "Aha, so you're a veterinarian"
He: "No, I'm a butcher"

 

[Mapleminx]

@Graft

View attachment 337915

Tragically accurate but considering at least one band made a point of it. Not sure you can always mock the lack of humor.

 

[leatherback]

Tragically accurate but considering at least one band made a point of it. Not sure you can always mock the lack of humor.

 

[leatherback]

 

[Kadebe]