An Out of This World Bonsai Story
Two aliens from the planet Armicron had just graduated from their planet’s university. They were really looking forward to joining the invasion forces that were sent to assimilate other planets. Sadly neither of these two were very bright, in fact they were considered to be delinquents by the standards of the normal population. They had failed both the “Assimilating Planets” class and the “Identifying Intelligent Lifeforms” class so they weren’t accepted into the Invasion Forces Corps. Instead, they were sent to work in the planet’s agriculture fields because of their seemingly innate talent for growing plants. They had obtained this skill because they liked to grow a species of illegal hallucinogenic plants used by some of the deviant youth to get high by smoking them.
They were really bored growing vegetables and dreamt of wreaking havoc and terrorizing the population on some distant planet. So one day they decided to hotwire an intergalactic transport ship and left to find a planet to conquer on their own. They came across Earth and tried to land on Mt Fuji in Japan, thinking they could use the crater to hide their ship. Their timing couldn’t have been worse, because as it happened, just as they were landing, the volcano decided to erupt. Barely escaping with their buts slightly singed, they plunged their ship into the ocean off Honshu to cool it off, but not without a near crash into the nearby coastline. After this ordeal, they finally found a safe place to land in the forests of eastern Mediterranean region.
They left their ship on an expedition and found themselves in a forest of tall pine trees. Now these pine trees looked very similar to the illegal hallucinogenic plants they were familiar with from home. After their near death experience with Mt. Fuji, they decided that they deserved some relaxation. So they picked some of the needles off the pines and rolled them into a cigar and started smoking them. The resulting euphoria was unlike any that they had experienced before. Soon they fell asleep in a quiet ecstasy.
The next morning, they awoke in great spirits, unlike they typical hangover their drugs at home gave them. They set to work examining the damage from the volcano and the near crash in Japan. In their haste to escape frying in the blast of the volcano, they had forgotten to raise their landing pods. Luckily they were undamaged by the brush with the Japanese coastline, but they found another kind of pine tree logged in the supports of the landing pods. Figuring they might as well test out this new plant to see if it was as good as the ones they had sampled the night before, they rolled and smoked some of that one too. Well, this plant had a different but just as pleasurable effect on them and they couldn’t decide which one they liked better. They decided to breed and grow a hybrid of these two trees, in the hopes that they might combine and enhance the hallucinogenic effects of both into one. Finally they could use their talents at doing something worthwhile besides growing boring vegetables!
It worked! They developed a new hybrid pine tree. As they had hoped, effects were better than the other two alone. “To hell with conquering this planet” they said to each other “we can make a fortune selling this new plant to our comrades back home!” So they set about planting them in a remote area in southern British Columbia. For years they grew and shipped their new commodity back home, and they became rich.
Unfortunately, they were shot down over Russia on a return trip and were never heard from again.
Years later, a Canadian bonsai enthusiast found their fields of hybrid pines and realized that these would make excellent bonsai. He started collecting and selling them to bonsai enthusiasts all over North America.
So there it is, your pine must be one of those hybrid pines.
Otherwise I have no idea.
I had fun making up this story though
Sorry, I couldnt help it
