Isn't it horrible how people act toward loved ones when the end is near?
I don't know whether that was a criticism or just an observation.
Sometimes; when dealing with a loved one who has become advanced in age, when the best thing you can do for them is try to keep them where they want to be----home. Sometimes that means you keep them in their clutter of years of crap just because that's what they want. However in doing so you have to know what is going on with them and you have to have the courage to realize, if their minds are going, they are not going to get better.
You keep them at home as long as you can until it is no longer safe without constant supervision. After going through this with my mother three years ago and my wife's mother two years ago I do know what I am talking about. Take it from me. If you love your loved one/ loved ones the last thing you want to do is put them in a nursing home where, no matter how caring they convince you they are, they really don't look on their clients as anything but the necessary element that brings them money.
The first thing they do after convincing you that therapy is not working so well, is to start sedating them so they will not give them any unnecessary trials and tribulations. A passive client is a good client. An independent client is a pain in the ass.
You want to talk about neglect and abuse by family members look here. This is the worst thing you can do to someone you love, is to throw them into a nursing home. They will be dead inside of two years. Here is how it works. Mom falls and injures a leg, no break just a bad strain but the Doctor says she needs to go into therapy and then a "Convalescent Center" the other side of the Nursing Home. The CC is supposed to put her (Mom) through therapy that is very difficult for someone 90 years old. After a couple of weeks they start slacking off on the therapy but they keep taking the money from the insurance company. As the insurance runs out you will find that Mom is not getting any better and the long story short, she winds up going to the nursing home.
So-----Unless you have been through this it is really best you understand what is really going on. If you have family getting to this point in their age cycle it is important that you know what is going to happen. If you want to keep them home (good for you) it is vital to understand how your loved one thinks and how protective they are going to get about their stuff.