The "D" word.

[drew33998]

Yep i said it. My wife and i have been going through some difficult times ever since my son was born. We just stopped trying to get along and everything was a fight. Counceling didnt help and she is packing up and moving on. I really hate that it had to go this way and i have tried my hardest to get her to stay but she just doesnt love me anymore. Im scared to death of the next phase. Raising a toddler as a single parent and also not having that companionship around to help prop each other up.

 

[justBonsai]

Damn, I'm wishing for the best. The nuthouse is here to provide emotional support for you.

Growing up there was a lot of problems in my family and if my parents were normal people they would of divorced for sure. There were some close tipping points. But I think it was because of my families cultural and personal beliefs that divorce was unacceptable so we grinded through all the conflicts--most without resolution. I can say with confidence our family dynamic and communication is unhealthy but we somehow manage. If you are not willing, and maybe that's what your spouse thought, to resolve let alone come to terms with these conflicts it's best to move on. Otherwise it will be a very unhealthy toxic relationship.

I genuinely do wish the best for you and hope you can start working your way to the future.

 

[Potawatomi13]

Yep i said it. My wife and i have been going through some difficult times ever since my son was born. We just stopped trying to get along and everything was a fight. Counceling didnt help and she is packing up and moving on. I really hate that it had to go this way and i have tried my hardest to get her to stay but she just doesnt love me anymore. Im scared to death of the next phase. Raising a toddler as a single parent and also not having that companionship around to help prop each other up.

Sorry this happening to you. Will you be custodial parent? If so see she pays support as we are always forced to regardless of poverty or job status. She apparently did not want motherhood. Once dated someone like this that gave daughter to ex husband. That was end of road for me! Perverted mixed up world today.

 

[Anthony]

If it were possible on your side, I would suggest a live in maid.
Sounds weird, but having a woman around really helps.
Hoping for the best for you.
Anthony

 

[sorce]

D is better than S, or C, or 2 other D's.

FTB....CTB!

Time for some more trees!

Sorce

 

[Cadillactaste]

Sorry to hear that...life and our responsibilities has a way of digging into a relationship and stealing ones focus. Bitterness can seep in...if one isn't careful.

As an adult now...I look back at my own parents divorce...the key thing that earns my respect for my dad. He never once spoke bad about my mother...I can not say the same for her. At the end of the day...my dad earned my adult respect. Took years to grasp just what a man he is.

At the end of the day...you will always be a father. See the blessing in that.

 

[Giga]

That's a rough spot to be in, but if there other person is not willing to fight for love or you freely. Then honestly you don't want them to be around anyway. Love and a relationship is hard work and take a lot of effort. Sounds like she gave up. That's rough and the best thing to do is just take each day at a time and let tomorrow worry about tomorrow. Raising kids is a joy but is also hard, but it does get better and becomes ez'er. I would recommend, if you have family willing to move in with you, do that while things are rough till you find peace and a rhythm. I know it sucks but being a dad is the best and just know that you can do and b-nut can help you talk through things.

 

[c54fun]

Yep i said it. My wife and i have been going through some difficult times ever since my son was born. We just stopped trying to get along and everything was a fight. Counceling didnt help and she is packing up and moving on. I really hate that it had to go this way and i have tried my hardest to get her to stay but she just doesnt love me anymore. Im scared to death of the next phase. Raising a toddler as a single parent and also not having that companionship around to help prop each other up.

Sorry to hear this. Been there, done that with a toddler. Wasn't a divorce but still feels the same. Sucks right now but it gets better.

 

[sparklemotion]

That sucks. Lawyer up but be fair. Remember that child support is for the benefit of the child.

Let your toddler grow up learning that two adults who disagree on a lot can still love them more than anything.

I know couples for whom the day the divorce was finalized was happier than their wedding day. Living in a marriage that isn't working sounds like a nightmare, so hopefully things will actually be looking up for you from here.

 

[Carol 83]

So sorry, is she actually leaving your child also? If so, sounds like you're better off without her. If you will be co-parenting, it's better a child grow up with two parents that love them, even living separately, than ones who live together and fight all of the time. Best of luck.

 

[drew33998]

Sorry to hear that...life and our responsibilities has a way of digging into a relationship and stealing ones focus. Bitterness can seep in...if one isn't careful.

As an adult now...I look back at my own parents divorce...the key thing that earns my respect for my dad. He never once spoke bad about my mother...I can not say the same for her. At the end of the day...my dad earned my adult respect. Took years to grasp just what a man he is.

At the end of the day...you will always be a father. See the blessing in that.

Thanks so much. Hope i can do the same for my son.

 

[drew33998]

So sorry, is she actually leaving your child also? If so, sounds like you're better off without her. If you will be co-parenting, it's better a child grow up with two parents that love them, even living separately, than ones who live together and fight all of the time. Best of luck.

Co parenting. She told me she wants to raise him jointly but seperatley. I just hope she lives up to that when we start going through the legal process

 

[Carol 83]

Co parenting. She told me she wants to raise him jointly but seperatley. I just hope she lives up to that when we start going through the legal process

Well, that's a good thing. Hang in there, the important thing is both of you making sure that the little ones happiness takes precedence over anything else.

 

[dirk hoorelbeke]

It will be hard to plan everything and hoping she does her part. Better to D than living together and fight. Closing one door might open an other. Heads up, it might all work out.

 

[jriddell88]

hmm she didn't take the kid and want your entire check for child support while she buys new shoes and box wine!!?? holy shit!! I think you got it alight

 

[Potawatomi13]

Well, that's a good thing. Hang in there, the important thing is both of you making sure that the little ones happiness takes precedence over anything else.

WITHOUT spoiling them. Competing with things(junk)should NEVER be part of the deal!

 

[Ingvill]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Drew. Trying times indeed.
I hope you and your wife find ways to cope, to co-operate and to move on from here.
And I hope you have some good friends & family you can lean on when you need to.
I understand it's a scary place to be in right now, but you will get through this.
And a new and different (and hopefully better) future will evolve from this scary place.
I wish you and yours all the best, take good care of yourselves.

 

[jmw_bonsai]

Positive thoughts for you! We are here for you as you need to talk! Here is a picture of Japanese maple to brighten the day!