Thread titles: what makes you get ready for a fight?

[Fidur]

Sometimes, I see the title of a thread and I think, that's gonna be a blody fight.
Some subjects, clearly, make some jump, as for instance:

"I have discovered the best soil mix for any tree in any place"

"Portulacarias are not real bonsais"

So can you think of a thread title, able to drive everybody nuts?

 

[leatherback]

Leaving plitics and religion out?

"Best way to ..."

 

[penumbra]

I don't judge a book by its cover. If I did, I probably wouldn't open many threads and in fact I might not be here at all.
Lots of good people are not savvy with words or inadvertently just pick the wrong ones. I try to be very selective and yet I am forever sticking my foot in my mouth.
Anyone who will say they have Never peed in another person's cornflakes is either lying or forgetful.

 

[Forsoothe!]

Usually it takes more than a title to drive me nuts. I have an aversion to the first paragraph of those people who aren't going to follow the advice they're asking for.

 

[QuantumSparky]

The single worst title for a forum post:

"Help"

The people that post that single word as the title are simultaneously asking for a favor and insulting the ones looking to assist, by choosing the least descriptive title possible in hopes that more people will click on it to find out what the issue is.

If they're not doing it to fish for extra help, then they're doing it because they are ignorant of common internet courtesy and don't understand how it makes them look when they give zero effort to help others give them the advice they're asking for.

I deliberately do not respond to threads with that title because if they can't spend the time to type a proper helpful heading, then I'm not going to spend the time solving their problems.

I'm not better than anybody, nor do I know a great deal about this hobby. I'm just a guy who likes helping others when I can, but not when they start everything out with vague and useless thread titles.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. It is very comfortable up here on this hill, and I will gladly die on it if need be

P.S. If the user also has such a lack of creativity that they need to add a bunch of numbers after their username because it's already in use by a hundred other people...dont even get me started

 

[QuantumSparky]

Leaving plitics and religion out?

"Best way to ..."

Politics and religion getting into forums like these is the absolute worst, and it's always the bigots who start it. I just want to learn about bonsai dammit

 

[just.wing.it]

Brevity is the soul of wit.

 

[TinyArt]

Brevity is the soul of wit.

Now THEM'S fighting words!

 

[LanceMac10]

Post some examples of your work. Thread titles mean nothing. Make sure the technique you espouse is reflected in the tree you use as an example.

 

[Cajunrider]

So can you think of a thread title, able to drive everybody nuts?

No need to drive any body nuts. We already are.
That said: NAPA 8822

 

[Mikecheck123]

I have discovered the best soil mix for any tree in any place

In that same vein, "Why haven't so-called bonsai 'masters' thought of THIS trick?" <insert incredibly simplistic trick with glaring flaws>

 

[AJL]

''Experts '' who prescribe indiscriminate use of pesticides without knowing whats actually wrong with someone elses trees and believe that treating with chemicals is the only way to keep all trees healthy!

 

[Lorax7]

• Posts asking for help to identify a tree of unknown provenance as a cultivar
• Anything that suggests that any particular substrate mix is “the best”
• Posts that ask some variant of the questions, “What is art?” or “Is bonsai art?”
• Posts that praise Peter Chan and/or Nigel Saunders
• Posts that denounce Peter Chan and/or Nigel Saunders as know-nothings or charlatans
• Posts asking if a subscription to Mirai Live and/or Bonsai U is worth the money
• Bonus item: Impossible to tell from a thread title alone, but there are a few old timers on the site who know bonsai but have never learned anything about how to give constructive criticism. Any thread where they show up to give their frank-but-unkind opinions, usually unsolicited and often directed at newbies’ trees, inevitably devolves into a shitshow. Fortunately, things have been not too bad in this respect in recent times.

 

[Shogun610]

Any thread that has ficus in the name.

 

[Eckhoffw]

Any thread title with “Your Momma” in it.

 

[Bonsai Pete]

Sometimes, I see the title of a thread and I think, that's gonna be a blody fight.
Some subjects, clearly, make some jump, as for instance:

"I have discovered the best soil mix for any tree in any place"

"Portulacarias are not real bonsais"

So can you think of a thread title, able to drive everybody nuts?

Nana Junipers are not real Bonsai. But they are a good beginners Bonsai. JBP are for real Men & Women

 

[Bonsai Nut]

"Why your tree looks like a$$"

That right there is total clickbait

 

[Paradox]

Posts asking for cheap or free alternatives to proven soil components

Posts that tell others what they should or shouldn't spend their own money on (answering a question about if something is worth it to them or not not included)

Posts that decry the use of pesticides or fungicides on trees being attacked by such, suggesting that people should just let the tree they spent 100s or 1000s of dollars on and/or decades developing get eaten by insects or die from fungus.

 

[Mikecheck123]

Posts asking for cheap or free alternatives to proven soil components

Posts that tell others what they should or shouldn't spend their own money on (answering a question about if something is worth it to them or not not included)

Posts that decry the use of pesticides or fungicides on trees being attacked by such, suggesting that people should just let the tree they spent 100s or 1000s of dollars on and/or decades developing get eaten by insects or die from fungus.

This happens much more on Reddit than here but: posts that talk about a tree's feelings.

 

[Shogun610]

Nana Junipers are not real Bonsai. But they are a good beginners Bonsai. JBP are for real Men & Women

Lmao I cannot take this man seriously