Unsure of what kind of Bonsai I have

Bri

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I bought this bonsai tree about a year ago and I would like to know what kind of bonsai it is. The only thing I'm pretty sure about is that it is a pine/conifer. I tried looking at the online guides but none of the images seem to fit. Anyone have any ideas what it could be?
 

thumblessprimate1

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Based on the color and bits lying on the soil, it may be a dead bonsai. It appears to have been a juniper.

No worries. A little green spray paint will fix it. :)
 

milehigh_7

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@Bri don't get discouraged many of us start out this way. If you so desire good advice can be had and you will learn. :) Junipers actually die long before they "look" dead. So when the poor buyer takes them home they have no idea and they end up thinking it was their fault when they never had a chance.
 

thumblessprimate1

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True story. A guy brought over a large old juniper for recuperation. When it was seen, it was obvious the tree was long dead before he got it home. The foliage was spray painted green, and branches were grafted like pegs onto a decent piece of deadwood. I think the guy hurt his pride more than his wallet; he paid only $5 for the 18 inch tall bonsai.
 

sorce

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It looks like you haven't even opened tha bag of rocks yet...

Maybe you still have time to chase down the Van....flat the tires....and smack the shit out of someone!

Sorce
 

armetisius

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It looks like you haven't even opened that bag of rocks yet...Maybe you still have time to chase down the Van....flat the tires....and smack the shit out of someone!Sorce
Be certain to take the bag of rocks with you; in a pinch they make a very
useful addition for the activity outlined above. Beat him down with them.
 

Smoke

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A guy told me that a wet paper towel wrapped around the green part and in the microwave for 45 seconds would rejuvenate these things?

The good news is, if it doesn't rejuvenate, you didn't technically lose a bonsai.
 

eferguson1974

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A guy told me that a wet paper towel wrapped around the green part and in the microwave for 45 seconds would rejuvenate these things?

The good news is, if it doesn't rejuvenate, you didn't technically lose a bonsai.
May as well try 45 minutes! At least the house might smell nice a while, maybe the oven would be better.
 

Smoke

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May as well try 45 minutes! At least the house might smell nice a while, maybe the oven would be better.
No, he was pretty sure about the microwave. The oven would require the use of baking soda.
 

armetisius

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You too are off your nut.
Some naive desperate despondent person
will actually try the insane option you two
just outlined.
 

eferguson1974

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You too are off your nut.
Some naive desperate despondent person
will actually try the insane option you two
just outlined.
They may need baking powder too. Maybe some butter.
When was I on my nut? Only when sitting down too fast.
This would be no fun at all if it were all serious.
Besides, baked foemina could be the perfect new food fad. I need royalties!
 
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How's about my bonsai! I think it's a Juniper as well. But I'm not sure! Please HALP!
 

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Potawatomi13

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Looks very lively but needs to live outside;). Please also do not let dry out or will actually BE dead:(.
 
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