Darlene hit the nail square on the head....Structure or as I have also called it consistency is what is lacking today.....I don't know how many times I have seen parents say things to their kids only to have to say it over and over again and never following thru with the consequences. Make rules and stick to them.
When my son was about 4 or 5 years old we were in Wal-Mart and he wanted a Hotwheel car....I said OK but we didn't have much time because we had somewhere else to be.....I gave him about 5 minutes to look over all the cars and then gave him a count to 10 or 30 or what ever number I picked to make up his mind....I told him when time was up we were leaving.....Well he didn't make up his mind and started to argue so I put down whatever it was I was buying picked him up and we walked out with nothing.....He was kicking and screaming but by the time we got to the car he had calmed down and said he was sorry.....Was that the easy way out on my part...NOPE. I got lots of funny looks walking out with a screaming child but guess what next time I told him to make up his mind he did just that.
It doesn't take many scenarios like the one above to get kids attention.
Brian
PS.....Darlene my son and his wife are also youth group leaders at their church.
Your story reminds me of my mom taking us to the store...and my cousin was along with us. Now...we didn't have money. My mother would set the rules before exiting the car as to if she had a $1 we could spend on something extra or not. My spoiled cousin wanted a box of cereal for the toy inside. My mom didn't have the money to buy the cereal for said toy. Explaining so...she proceeded to screamed bloody murder and threw herself on the floor. My mom told her when she was done we would be waiting at the exit near the door. And put the few items in our cart back...and we stood there waiting for her to realize we weren't waiting around watching her drama. She settled down right away...once alone in the aisle. Though times are easier for my husband and I. I have always followed my moms policy...when the kids were small. For a child shouldn't have a toy or what not each visit to the store. Just because you can afford it. Doesn't mean it's needed. Though I can recall once...taking my youngest into the bathroom stall and spanking him at the grocery. I can't recall for what. Must have been something toward his brother...who knows. I know it wasn't for him demanding food or something. They just knew from the start not to ask.
You must be so proud of your son and his wife...I love our youth. Though...I wasn't sure they would like me. For I am one for misbehavior=consequence. I like structure...when we have overnighters here at the house. My house rules apply to all who visit. They seem to love me...so they say. It goes back to my childhood and my desire for structure and not having it. I think all children no matter what age...needs structure, and consistency. Though...I trust my youth...I also sleep on the floor in front of the door in the girls room where the girls sleep. Never on my watch will I have a parent question what goes on while in my care. A few parents surprisingly think I take it a bit far by doing so. But...I can say without a shadow of a doubt...NOTHING went on under my roof I am not aware of.
I think having a Co-Ed overnighter it's the only common sense thing to do. The first time I slept on the floor...in front of the door the girls were shocked...wanting me to take the bed. Now...we joke about my being an amazing door stop.
I really need to get a new mattress for our cot. It would be much more comfortable. Lol