Zombie Juniper Pfizeriana/Media

Do you believe it will live?

  • No

    Votes: 1 5.9%
  • Yes

    Votes: 16 94.1%
  • You've ruined a nice piece already, I don't care

    Votes: 3 17.6%

  • Total voters
    17

Wires_Guy_wires

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Since everyone's so snappy about snipping pines I'd figured what the heck, why don't I go all in?! Give you something to lighten the mood or to laugh about.
If you love trees and are easily insulted, then please do not continue reading. This is on you now. Proceed with caution. I took some risks here that I was very well aware of. I know how you guys would fix them, I know how I would fix them, but I also want to push things to the limit a little. Just because I take risks, doesn't mean anyone else should.

I got two junipers, got them for free and they're huge for my standards. I'm more of a grower, not a shower, so this is way out of my league to begin with. I appreciate big trunks. Is that called being bark-curious?
Here are they described for the first time: https://www.bonsainut.com/threads/free-junipers-now-what.36983/

Words of caution: Yes, I know. I know, I know, I know. One insult per year. Don't work the branches if you just touched the roots. Pfizer junipers suck. You can't resurrect dead trees..
Put some raffia on the rules, call the bonsai police, load up your shotguns, this is going to be one hellish ride.
Yes. I chose that phrasing intentionally.

Backstory: I dug this juniper with my dad. He's a physics teacher and a mathematician, so he knew very well how to jam a shovel right through the most important roots and how to break almost every important branch the plant had. "You're the biology guy, kid, fix it". Quality time! Loved it!
We dug it in the midst of winter. Back then we actually got a couple of frosty nights and days. Both of the junipers we dug barely survived. But they lived.
One of them is still doing great, putting out a lot of new growth. I didn't touch it other than doing some grafts. The other one, the one which this thread is about, didn't do so well. I used waaaay too much bark flakes and the soil turned into a death trap. The fungal blobs that formed on the bark flakes were rock solid. It was actually producing heat due to the composting. Ha! Can you imagine steam coming out of your pots on a winter morning? I didn't have to, it was real.

Never repot a sick tree! In my book that means something like "Never amputate a limb that's having a serious septic infection" so I repotted a sick tree. This is no joke to be honest, I'm convinced that when the soil is the issue, just change the darn soil. I blended that soil, I knew it was going to cause issues but it was either that, or growing bare rooted. I might be stupid but I'm not dumb. Row with the belts you have (a Dutch phrase that I don't really understand because rowboats don't wear belts, we use paddles).

Repotted.
Fresh soil, and it actually started putting out growth mid winter (15 degrees C). Sweet! Stress growth you say? Well, I don't care, it's better than 365 days of standing still and dropping limb after limb.

Then I figured, why the hell do my trees keep getting away with multiple insults per year? Is my material too young? Let's put it to the test!


Wrapped the tree in raffia, got myself some sweet electrical wire, stripped it with a box cutter, ended up in the ER to get my finger glued back together (bad omens?!), annealed the wire and slapped it on the tree, went back to the ER to get stitches this time. The doctor looked at me the same way you'll be looking at your computer screen when you're done reading.
Note: glued wounds actually take NO insults at all.
I proceeded to put the branches in the place where I thought I wanted them and continued to wire out the foliage a bit. I am planning on replacing it with either itoigawa or blaauw later, but first I wanted the bones to be in the right spot. It would be nice if they were live bones in the future. 45 degree angle changes? Sure!
They are in the right spots now, at least for starters. But it looks like crap! Left all the foliage on and did some crappy wiring. It looks sad, but the foliage on this cultivar is naturally floppy, so I'm only half to blame.


IMG_20200417_171615 (1).jpg
Look at the poor thing. Half of the roots cut off, the pot is cleaned up by now, the birds took al the sphagnum and the leftover raffia and bark. They're making bonsai nests I bet.
You know what the juniper did? It kept on living! For a while. Like junipers do. Mind games and dirty tricks!

Until it turned summer fourteen days ago. Now it's starting to desiccate and all the fresh green tips are dry and dead, but that could be because the winter started at roughly the same time. Weird, right?
The difference with last year? This year I made progress. Not in my wiring skills, pfff I know, but I learned the limits of a tree. Or haven't I?

For seven days the tree received excellent secret care from a protocol saved in a secret book, this whole situation/challenge is actually right up my alley. It's misted with plain water whenever I find the time. Three times a week or so. Being a hero essential worker wage-slave and all that..
It's in the shade.
Look, guys, gals, I know. I shouldn't have done this, but I did anyway. Now I'll have to live with the consequences and you have something to laugh about. In a sense, I did this for the people at home. I did this for you!

I added a poll for you guys to show your expectations. Will it live or will it die?

You probably want to write down some good advice. That's very nice of you, it really is and I appreciate that. But what's the point of pushing it to the limit, if you're not walking on the razor's edge until you're finished? With all due respect, save your advice this time for someone that'll take it. I clearly haven't. Well, I have, with that other huge juniper and the 143 other sticks I own.. But not this one. I could be a stubborn jackass about it later in this thread and offend you with rejecting advice, or just tell you guys up front that I have already devised my own plan and that I'm not changing that plan even though you're right and I know it.


I'll provide weekly updates if you guys are interested.
 

leatherback

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Just above the deadwood on the right: Green branch defying gravity. If it is not wired, it is a good sign.
 

Wires_Guy_wires

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It's wired! I think.
But gravity is pulling the healthy one down as well, so I'm not really trusting those signs. The foliage in this type grows upwards, but the branches are too weak to keep it that way. So the more they elongate, the more likely they are to flip upside down. At least, that's what I'm seeing in the healthy one.
 

Rivka

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after the evening i have had, your writing and attitude problems were the perfect antidote. A tip of my hat sir.
#longlivethezombietree
 

Wires_Guy_wires

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Every branch has at least one actively growing tuft of foliage now. It seems like the sap flow has restored.
As a matter of fact, it seems that it's coming back to life as a whole.
It'll take a while, but I'm sure it's going to pull through.

How are you @defra , everything on track?
 

Lazylightningny

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The lesson is, after collecting, cut only dead foliage, then leave it completely alone for a couple of years. Patience, grasshopper!
 

Wires_Guy_wires

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The lesson is, after collecting, cut only dead foliage, then leave it completely alone for a couple of years. Patience, grasshopper!
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my juniper pushing that fresh crispy growth.

IMG_20200506_174519.jpg

The lesson here is that applied science works. And it's beating old school bonsai knowledge with 1mm of growth per week after three major insults, as opposed to 1mm of growth per 8 months after no insults.
Re-read the opening post please. I warned everyone ahead of time I was going to be snarky about it.
 
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This is completely off topic, and you don't have to answer if this makes you uncomfortable, however -what is your educational background? Just curious.
 

leatherback

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I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my juniper pushing that fresh crispy growth.
Good times. But.. NOT over the hill yet. I had one at this stage too. Then I decided to repot, just clean out and move into proper substrate. No root pruning.. A dry spell came and 2 weeks later it was dead.

Fact remains.. Collected trees are more easily insulted. You have two good trees one of which you promised me. I do not accept a dead one 🤣
 

Wires_Guy_wires

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This is completely off topic, and you don't have to answer if this makes you uncomfortable, however -what is your educational background? Just curious.

It's life science / biotech with a specialisation in plant tissue culture. But I also worked in microbiological pharmarceuticals and animal breeding & genetics.


@leatherback I remember promising you a cutting! Was it an entire tree? Darnit. I'll have to do more air layers then!
 

leatherback

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@leatherback I remember promising you a cutting! Was it an entire tree? Darnit. I'll have to do more air layers then!
I guess we can come to an understanding. Where you understand I REALLY do not need anymore trees.
And I understand that you are much better at grafting then me. So.. guess a beer-grafting date is expected
 

defra

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I guess we can come to an understanding. Where you understand I REALLY do not need anymore trees.
And I understand that you are much better at grafting then me. So.. guess a beer-grafting date is expected
I cant graft either at least ive never tried lol
BUT i know how to drink a beer very well :p
 

leatherback

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I cant graft either at least ive never tried lol
BUT i know how to drink a beer very well
So.. which skills would you bring to the garden then for this bonsainut grafting session in my garden?
 

Wires_Guy_wires

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Defra can have my beer! My intestines have decided to start rejecting all kinds of beer after I started brewing my own.
I might bring some ponderosa pines and possibly some jack pines to the table too!
 

defra

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So.. which skills would you bring to the garden then for this bonsainut grafting session in my garden?
Well I don't have a special skill beside drinking and watching others work...
Perhaps I can learn how to graft and bring something to abuse together and have some fun :p
 
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