Destroying People

[A Random User]

Last night I had a polite conversation on FB... Lol! With an individual on the up and up in Bonsai here in the States...

Which concluded with the Whole Notion that he was Personally going to "Destroy Me"... make it so "I never worked in Bonsai Again"... as well... "Make sure the Bonsai Community never dealt with me Again both in Bonsai and My Work"... that I was not somehow on his "Radar Before"... even though I've known the guy for some time now... and have endless conversations regarding Me Hand Painting Pots... but that "Now I am on his Radar... and that He will make sure I know I am"...

Today...

Well... today... I actually feel sorry for this individual.

I feel Sorry for the fact that "He" feels the need to do all of this over some stupid misunderstanding over a Post regarding Bonsai.

That this effected him so much... that he would seek to do such a thing.

What a Small Little Man.

Over Bonsai... Really???
Are you kidding me???


Does he or anyone else honestly think they can stop someone from doing Bonsai?

And if so... what good would a Bonsai Community be... A "Family" be... seeing I have heard folks here not only refer to it as one... but also seek to "Destroy People".
If they allowed such an event to happen?

This actually disgusts me.

It makes me realize how Small People are in Bonsai. To be honest, it makes me realize how Small Bonsai, itself is.
And to be Frank... I don't want to be a part of this "Family " anymore.

This is not what Family does.

 

[Wilson]

Well that's pretty shitty... I enjoy trees and people, too bad some people can't just be happy.

 

[A Random User]

Well that's pretty shitty... I enjoy trees and people, too bad some people can't just be happy.

I actually gets worse!

In a couple of months I am supposed to be displaying a tree at a really big show... as well be a vendor. In which this individual will be part of the talent of the show.

I was really looking forward to it, for multiple reasons... obviously the show is going to be awesome! But, as well... Me and my wife at the moment don't have a ton of funds...

She does not really care for Bonsai... but, we were going to use the trip as part of a Holiday as well... seeing I don't have enough money at the moment to take her somewhere. So, on the way back home we were going to go to Charleston, and Savanna and spend the night and site see.

And hopefully I could make some money to pay for, or at least pay for some of the trip.

But... What does "Destroy " mean?

And what is the "Rationale " of someone who would say such a thing over something so silly?

I mean... does it mean I won't make money, to pay for the trip I can't afford?

Does it mean. .. that this could actually somehow lead to some sort of "Physical Altercation "???

And why... would I want to subject my wife to any of this... who frankly doesn't even like Bonsai, thinks it is kind of silly?

The whole purpose of the trip was to be Fun.
To hopefully supply her, in the process a vacation, that I could not do otherwise.

I mean... isn't Bonsai suppose to be fun?
Aren't we all suppose to be a "Family "?

Who should have to go through such Crap? I mean, all I wanted to do is Participate and be a part of the show.

So, now I actually have to decide if I should even do the show.

And frankly Bonsai and the people who do Bonsai are a bunch of Crap right now.

 

[Jim Beard]

I saw that thread, I actually created an account here because I wanted to see what the original thread was about.
To be frank, and I don't know you, you were both definitely at fault.
Before it even got out of hand, when it was still just polite discussion, and anything derogatory was said, the other person apologized for sounding argumentative a couple of times, and asked you a couple more to drop it.
You didn't drop it, and kept goading, and it all went downhill from there.
The other individual clearly didn't want this happen, and tried to put a stop to it before it all got out of hand.
He said some nasty stuff, that was uncalled for on his part.
On the other hand He was repeatedly provoked after apologizing before it got out of hand and asking that you both drop it.

You were definitely both at fault.

I hardly hold him accountable when he didn't want to discuss it anymore, and it kept going on and on, at 2:30 in the morning.
Just my opinion. It's ironic that the original thread was about the pettiness that happens sometimes in the forums, and the two of you confirmed it.
But seriously? At 2:30 in the AM, its best just to let these things go as was requested. I have doubts that he meant any of it, but I don't him personally, I'm sure if you send him a message or email you can put it behind the both of you and it won't impact your upcoming show.

 

[A Random User]

I saw that thread, I actually created an account here because I wanted to see what the original thread was about.
To be frank, and I don't know you, you were both definitely at fault.
Before it even got out of hand, when it was still just polite discussion, and anything derogatory was said, the other person apologized for sounding argumentative a couple of times, and asked you a couple more to drop it.
You didn't drop it, and kept goading, and it all went downhill from there.
The other individual clearly didn't want this happen, and tried to put a stop to it before it all got out of hand.
He said some nasty stuff, that was uncalled for on his part.
On the other hand He was repeatedly provoked after apologizing before it got out of hand and asking that you both drop it.

You were definitely both at fault.

I hardly hold him accountable when he didn't want to discuss it anymore, and it kept going on and on, at 2:30 in the morning.
Just my opinion. It's ironic that the original thread was about the pettiness that happens sometimes in the forums, and the two of you confirmed it.
But seriously? At 2:30 in the AM, its best just to let these things go as was requested. I have doubts that he meant any of it, but I don't him personally, I'm sure if you send him a message or email you can put it behind the both of you and it won't impact your upcoming show.

With all due respect...
I don't want to argue with you or anyone else anymore regarding any of this...

But, after the comments were actually made about stopping the duscussion and the other individual being polite...

You did not actually see the private posts that he posted... in that same argument. As well on that same thread post. Which you can do by simply clicking on who can see the comment.

In which he was not at all polite... and after I had actually stopped responding... blasted about 20 posts at me.

I suspect you did not see the posts that he has saved going back over months and even years... that he posted? About all kinds of various stuff... that he has pulled off of numerous websites of what I have said in the past... in order to show me somehow he could Destroy me?

Just a Curious question?

Who copies and saves stuff on people... in order to try and hurt people months or even years latter...
If they are so innocent?

I also seem to recall that I actually said to this individual... I don't want to fight with him. And that I had merely asked him if he was referring to me... with his very first comment... seeing I didn't know. That his post quite literally above... was about me.

In which he told me "not everything was about me... that I don't even show up on his radar... that my work sucks and my tree was crap" .

You can actually ask this individual for all of this... he said he did a screen shot.

 

[GGB]

I definitely have moments where I avoid "bonsai media". I think it's just somethign that happens on the internet in general. You'll never see my name in a dramatic thread, the noise got me once, never again.
It's totally a shame it breaks down like this sometimes, again I think it's an internet thing, not a bonsai thing, but what would I know. My best medicine/antidote is the fact that I have many interests and talents (using that word loosely here) and am a busy person in general. Some nerd wants to go nuts online ... cool

 

[Stan Kengai]

I find it odd that things like this, out of control arguments, keep happening to you. It's not like you enjoy antagonizing people. And if you did, you would never complain about other's reactions to your affront. What is this world coming to?

 

[coh]

People should be aware that this exchange supposedly happened in the middle of the night (3 or 4 am I think) and it has since been deleted from the thread. I saw the beginning and could tell it might go downhill, but didn't see the actual comments that are being described. I'm guessing few actually saw what was written. So take what is being claimed here with a large grain of salt...especially considering previous outbursts in this forum from a particular individual who started this thread.

 

[A Random User]

People should be aware that this exchange supposedly happened in the middle of the night (3 or 4 am I think) and it has since been deleted from the thread. I saw the beginning and could tell it might go downhill, but didn't see the actual comments that are being described. I'm guessing few actually saw what was written. So take what is being claimed here with a large grain of salt...especially considering previous outbursts in this forum from a particular individual who started this thread.

COH...
with all due respect here...

Everyone can think what they want about me... this is fine!

Can trash me... etc. Say I looked to start a fight... etc.

This will not change the Fact

That I Never said I would Destroy Someone over a stupid arguement on FB.

I would never do this.

If you can't honestly see this is "Wrong "...
There is no more need for Conversation
Is there?

 

[coh]

Did you save any of what he posted? Can you prove your assertions?

I've seen you overreact to perceived slights here so many times that I have to question how much of this is real and how much is imagined/inflated.

In the end, though, these kinds of outbursts that you've left in various forums probably damage your reputation more than anything anyone else could say or do.

That is all...best wishes.

 

[Jim Beard]

I didn't see any of the things said Stacy is implying either, about "destroying him" and such, and I was enjoying popcorn reading with great interest.

I'm 100% positive though that You can't make comments on someone else's post in a group "private" or restrict who can see the comments, unless they're blocked....
If the individual screenshotted the whole thing, I'm sure he did so to make sure that inaccurate things weren't being said after he removed the threads stating it was over.

My opinion remains the same. You poked at him to get a rise out of him, and got what you wanted, he lost his temper and said some nasty stuff about your Juniper(that was the only really nasty thing I saw).
You were both at fault. Grow up. You remind me of my grandkids fighting over a toy and then one whining when the other wins.

This is beneath you to continue to post about it when the thread was removed to say "it's over".

 

[coh]

Thanks "Jim".

For the record, I was the person who started that discussion (initially about the procumbens question, but as is typical it morphed from there). The exchange that prompted this thread was deleted by Stacy and the other person. The thread still exists, minus this stuff and nothing of note has been added since last night.

Ah, the joys of the internet.

 

[abqjoe]

Last night I had a polite conversation on FB... Lol! With an individual on the up and up in Bonsai here in the States...

Which concluded with the Whole Notion that he was Personally going to "Destroy Me"... make it so "I never worked in Bonsai Again"... as well... "Make sure the Bonsai Community never dealt with me Again both in Bonsai and My Work"... that I was not somehow on his "Radar Before"... even though I've known the guy for some time now... and have endless conversations regarding Me Hand Painting Pots... but that "Now I am on his Radar... and that He will make sure I know I am"...

Today...

Well... today... I actually feel sorry for this individual.

I feel Sorry for the fact that "He" feels the need to do all of this over some stupid misunderstanding over a Post regarding Bonsai.

That this effected him so much... that he would seek to do such a thing.

What a Small Little Man.

Over Bonsai... Really???
Are you kidding me???


Does he or anyone else honestly think they can stop someone from doing Bonsai?

And if so... what good would a Bonsai Community be... A "Family" be... seeing I have heard folks here not only refer to it as one... but also seek to "Destroy People".
If they allowed such an event to happen?

This actually disgusts me.

It makes me realize how Small People are in Bonsai. To be honest, it makes me realize how Small Bonsai, itself is.
And to be Frank... I don't want to be a part of this "Family " anymore.

This is not what Family does.

As I have stated in an entirely different post, I got into Bonsai and do Bonsai for the tree's, not for the people! IF, I happen to meet a few cool people along the way then great! But I do Bonsai for the love of the tree's and for the joy that it brings to my soul. To answer your question, NO, one person cannot make another stop doing Bonsai or anything for that matter because in the grand scheme of things the only thing that we have power over is our own choices. We are powerless in the choices that others actually follow through and make. As a Christian I see this same thing happen within the Christian community too. A new person comes along and gives his/her life to Christ and is absolutely pumped and on fire for the Lord! Then, he/she meets someone or a few other people in the community who start to come off as overly judgmental or overly strict and this attitude starts to ruin this new Christians personal relationship with Christ. This new Christian starts to have his/her fire for Christ extinguished by just a few people who are of the wrong attitude and starts to forget why he/her even became a Christian in the first place. My advice to you is to not let 1 single bitter soul extinguish the fire and love that you have for this hobby! Maybe you just need to focus fully on your tree's and push the people to the outside of your world I've received my fair share of crumby attitudes and punches thrown at me right here on this forum but you know what, it's going to take more than a few little bullies with elementary attitudes to make me put down Masakuni tools Why? Because I'm in it for the tree's ultimately, not the people!

 

[A Random User]

Did you save any of what he posted? Can you prove your assertions?

I've seen you overreact to perceived slights here so many times that I have to question how much of this is real and how much is imagined/inflated.

In the end, though, these kinds of outbursts that you've left in various forums probably damage your reputation more than anything anyone else could say or do.

That is all...best wishes.

With all due Respect Coh...

I have never cared about a reputation.

I just want to actually do Bonsai...
Talk Bonsai...
Hopefully contribute my part too Bonsai...
And make the Scene a better place.

I mean... I just started doing the work I do and offered it up to the Bonsai Community...
Because... I was part of the Community, doing Bonsai... was doing work for myself and my trees and displays...

Other people saw what I was doing... and asked me if I could help them out as well.

If people don't want what I do anymore. .. that's Cool. I will just move onto something else in life...

It really is not that big of a deal.

I have worked for years selling my Art in other areas outside of Bonsai. Have made much more money... and just enjoyed doing Bonsai... and the thought I was helping.

I mean... this is silly.

A "Reputation" means nothing to me.

If you like my work... Cool.
If not... that's entirely Cool as well.
If you like me and what I do in Bonsai... Cool.
If you don't like me and what I do in Bonsai... that is Cool as well.

None of this matters... what matters is whether or not "I" am happy. If not... I just need to move on.

Speaking of "Cool"...
I have an awesome 1964 Impala 2 door, with a 283 V8... all original miles, and all matching numbers I have been fixing up. And have been driving daily.

I did a wicked paint job on it... seeing that when I lived out in California, I use to help paint motorcycles and cars... when I had space between gigs working in the Film Industry. We really loved and admired the "Low-riders"... So, I bought the car to do this.

Not much "Cooler" than American Steel.

This matters... and perhaps I should go back to this? I obviously already have the really "Cool" hat for it!

I also have the guys in California still calling periodically asking if I want to get back into doing jobs for them in the Film Industry.
Which obviously must mean a least something seeing they still are calling me... and I haven't done any work for them in years.

This matters...

Our house was built in 1918, and we have been restoring it. This matters...

Perhaps that the problem?
Folks are putting Bonsai in front of "Stuff" that "Really Matters"?

So, really I think what it is... I need to do...
Is figure out what "Actually Matters"...
I am good at a lot of things...

I definitely don't need to just do Bonsai.
I definitely don't need to have arguments over Bonsai.
And I "Most Certainly" do not need to "Worry" about what it is my "Reputation " might be in Bonsai... or within the Bonsai Community.

I think this is what everyone seems to be missing?


***Side Note - The individual in question, has since contacted me regarding the Whole Cituation... which was very nice of him to do! And I am certain he is a very Cool guy! Just got caught up in the same crap I got caught up in... and forgot what actually matters.

So, I guess I gave to thank some of you here for informing him that this event was taking place... which sadly, as he and I both agree should not of happened.

People... if you do really love Bonsai... you gotta stop all of this.

 

[abqjoe]

I actually gets worse!

In a couple of months I am supposed to be displaying a tree at a really big show... as well be a vendor. In which this individual will be part of the talent of the show.

I was really looking forward to it, for multiple reasons... obviously the show is going to be awesome! But, as well... Me and my wife at the moment don't have a ton of funds...

She does not really care for Bonsai... but, we were going to use the trip as part of a Holiday as well... seeing I don't have enough money at the moment to take her somewhere. So, on the way back home we were going to go to Charleston, and Savanna and spend the night and site see.

And hopefully I could make some money to pay for, or at least pay for some of the trip.

But... What does "Destroy " mean?

And what is the "Rationale " of someone who would say such a thing over something so silly?

I mean... does it mean I won't make money, to pay for the trip I can't afford?

Does it mean. .. that this could actually somehow lead to some sort of "Physical Altercation "???

And why... would I want to subject my wife to any of this... who frankly doesn't even like Bonsai, thinks it is kind of silly?

The whole purpose of the trip was to be Fun.
To hopefully supply her, in the process a vacation, that I could not do otherwise.

I mean... isn't Bonsai suppose to be fun?
Aren't we all suppose to be a "Family "?

Who should have to go through such Crap? I mean, all I wanted to do is Participate and be a part of the show.

So, now I actually have to decide if I should even do the show.

And frankly Bonsai and the people who do Bonsai are a bunch of Crap right now.

If you don't go to the show then the bully wins! I would privately contact the guy and simply ask him if he's okay because he may have something going on in his life that is causing his malfunction. Let him know that you are concerned by the amount of aggression that he has directed towards you but that you're not interested in fighting with him in any way and that if he needs help with anything or just needs a friend to lend him an ear that you're there for him. This will most likely defuse him.

 

[A Random User]

If you don't go to the show then the bully wins! I would privately contact the guy and simply ask him if he's okay because he may have something going on in his life that is causing his malfunction. Let him know that you are concerned by the amount of aggression that he has directed towards you but that you're not interested in fighting with him in any way and that if he needs help with anything or just needs a friend to lend him an ear that you're there for him. This will most likely defuse him.

I thank you for the comments, and appreciate the support! I know you mean well...

But, Bonsai should not be about Winning.
You don't actually need to "Win" in order to do Bonsai.

What you do need to do is just try and always do the Best Job you can... and work really hard... night and day if you feel you have too... to do this Best Job.

Your work will always speak for itself!
And no one will ever be able to take that away from you!

 

[milehigh_7]

Without giving an opinion one way or the other, (I did see part of that thread) I will give some things from my own life that if you have been around here long enough you have seen. I've mellowed over the years. There was once a time when I would not only not be shy in an argument but seek them out. Growing up one of my favorite things to do was fight. It has cost me in many areas of life and has gotten out of hand a few times. Folks here at the nut house were gracious enough to forgive some of my more odious outbursts.

I think what I have learned is to just walk away. Part of me enjoys fighting, both physically and verbally but the price is too high. Eventually, even I had to start growing up. It feels good to improve but not everyone will.

Don't get me wrong I'm sure I will still screw up from time to time and I apologize in advance for my weakness. I'm a work in progress and may never be a show tree...

 

[abqjoe]

I thank you for the comments, and appreciate the support! I know you mean well...

But, Bonsai should not be about Winning.
You don't actually need to "Win" in order to do Bonsai.

What you do need to do is just try and always do the Best Job you can... and work really hard... night and day if you feel you have too... to do this Best Job.

Your work will always speak for itself!
And no one will ever be able to take that away from you!

I didn't say "win" in terms of winning the Bonsai show. I meant it in the sense that if you don't go to the show he wins in terms of making you do what he wanted you to do which would be to bow down to his bully tactics!

 

[mcpesq817]

Can someone call Sawgrass a waambulance? Guy is always whining about something, causing trouble, and then complains he is being unfairly attacked in 10,000 words or more.

Anyway, why bring this crap over here and start a new thread on it? Attention seeking? Mommy didn't hold you enough when you were little?

 

[GastroGnome]

With all due Respect Coh...

I have never cared about a reputation.

I just want to actually do Bonsai...
Talk Bonsai...
Hopefully contribute my part too Bonsai...
And make the Scene a better place.

I mean... I just started doing the work I do and offered it up to the Bonsai Community...
Because... I was part of the Community, doing Bonsai... was doing work for myself and my trees and displays...

Other people saw what I was doing... and asked me if I could help them out as well.

If people don't want what I do anymore. .. that's Cool. I will just move onto something else in life...

It really is not that big of a deal.

I have worked for years selling my Art in other areas outside of Bonsai. Have made much more money... and just enjoyed doing Bonsai... and the thought I was helping.

I mean... this is silly.

A "Reputation" means nothing to me.

If you like my work... Cool.
If not... that's entirely Cool as well.
If you like me and what I do in Bonsai... Cool.
If you don't like me and what I do in Bonsai... that is Cool as well.

None of this matters... what matters is whether or not "I" am happy. If not... I just need to move on.

Speaking of "Cool"...
I have an awesome 1964 Impala 2 door, with a 283 V8... all original miles, and all matching numbers I have been fixing up. And have been driving daily.

I did a wicked paint job on it... seeing that when I lived out in California, I use to help paint motorcycles and cars... when I had space between gigs working in the Film Industry. We really loved and admired the "Low-riders"... So, I bought the car to do this.

Not much "Cooler" than American Steel.

This matters... and perhaps I should go back to this? I obviously already have the really "Cool" hat for it!

I also have the guys in California still calling periodically asking if I want to get back into doing jobs for them in the Film Industry.
Which obviously must mean a least something seeing they still are calling me... and I haven't done any work for them in years.

This matters...

Our house was built in 1918, and we have been restoring it. This matters...

Perhaps that the problem?
Folks are putting Bonsai in front of "Stuff" that "Really Matters"?

So, really I think what it is... I need to do...
Is figure out what "Actually Matters"...
I am good at a lot of things...

I definitely don't need to just do Bonsai.
I definitely don't need to have arguments over Bonsai.
And I "Most Certainly" do not need to "Worry" about what it is my "Reputation " might be in Bonsai... or within the Bonsai Community.

I think this is what everyone seems to be missing?


***Side Note - The individual in question, has since contacted me regarding the Whole Cituation... which was very nice of him to do! And I am certain he is a very Cool guy! Just got caught up in the same crap I got caught up in... and forgot what actually matters.

So, I guess I gave to thank some of you here for informing him that this event was taking place... which sadly, as he and I both agree should not of happened.

People... if you do really love Bonsai... you gotta stop all of this.

So I guess that means you'll be going to the show after all?
Good. You should be there to vend.
As much as it sounds nice for this individual to message you, I'm pretty sure he's not a 'Cool guy' he's a total dickbag.
No need to take that with a grain of salt, I'm sure it's true ;-)