Destroying People

[A Random User]

It was all about whether mature foliage on a nana requires a significant amount of age. And it got real ugly real fast.

FWIW, the guy Stacy is talking about, who I like as an artist, pretty much shit on this site and everyone on it, with the exception of "maybe" 3 or 4 guys who know what they are talking about. The rest of us know very little but say a whole lot, to paraphrase.

BTW, Stacy, when you have time and want to get back into the subject matter, I'd still like to know what kind of training or care you specifically were talking about to get your nanas to product mature scale foliage.

LOL Yea in Stacey's (@sawgrass) defense that guy is not super cool. It would have been easy to allow it to escalate. @coh did an awful lot to stoke the fire on both places...

I appreciate both your comments...

But Bonsai Nut is not a Vacuum...

And I would be careful what you say.
It is not worth it...
I appreciate it though!

 

[A Random User]

So I guess that means you'll be going to the show after all?
Good. You should be there to vend.
As much as it sounds nice for this individual to message you, I'm pretty sure he's not a 'Cool guy' he's a total dickbag.
No need to take that with a grain of salt, I'm sure it's true ;-)

You know...

It actually took me a Minute to figure out where I had seen your Name... I knew I recognized it...

"GastroGnome"

Then it donned on me... it was from an Email...

And I thought you said you didn't visit this site?

How was my response to your post?


Arround here... B-Nut made it a new rule... we can't delete posts...

Who's the New Guy?
The one that seems to know a lot of details?
I think it was him saying one to many times... that you said to stop. .. that tip his hat.

This and the fact that it seemed word for word...

 

[A Random User]

So I guess that means you'll be going to the show after all?
Good. You should be there to vend.
As much as it sounds nice for this individual to message you, I'm pretty sure he's not a 'Cool guy' he's a total dickbag.
No need to take that with a grain of salt, I'm sure it's true ;-)

Well the Email and the Fact that your Avitar...
Actually says "Japanese Bonsai Pots"...
With your logo...

So Coh is your Friend...
Jim Beard is either apparently someone you know... or your friend? and you told him what to say here... and he just conviently joins this site.

And you mascarade around pretending you agree with me... so I will I guess say something dumb?

If you are Cool and have nothing to hide... and I am the one who was the problem...

What the Hell is up with All the Charades?
This seems awful shady...

You guys are begining to Prove my Point... by the Way you Act...

You do know birds are Tweeting about how you have done this before...Right?
Eventually people are going to catch on.

 

[Cadillactaste]

Shady...you two have a fight Stacy...then come here and blow off steam. And he's in the wrong for coming over to add a clearer view of what happened. Which you clearly state is true in his description of what went down by your post.

It takes two to fight...there is always two sides to everything...do I find it wrong he joined to share his side of things...no, I personally don't. One sided stories never tell the entirety of what happened. That it's deleted for our eyes to decipher for ourselves what happened and turned south...Not a bad thing...but no, I don't find shock or horror in what you claim. I find humor in the realization of your grasping it. That might be wrong on my part...I swore I wasn't going to contribute to this. Because I honestly don't know what happened. But did go to the FB group to see if I could figure out who you were talking about. I thought...hm-mm the guy is well known in the bonsai circle...who of the two larger if one looked at it like a ladder instead of a circle? I have seen one destroyed in a forum over innocent stuff. And moderators took to going to dog shows and destroying ones reputation. Possibly you see him higher on the ladder than you in the bonsai world...that his word could be looked at differently? I'm not sure...but...I think Greg/B-Nut worded it well. And must say...this is more personal to you than me. That...I am sort of not really drawn into all the words spewed. So clearly your angry that he joined under what you feel false pretenses. So he's got your goat? I thought you made up over the email...so finding out he shared his side of the story. If I'm reading this correctly. That has got you tied in knots. ? So no peaceful grace between the two of you now because of it? I think everyone has a right to share their side of a story...if he sent you an email and worked it out. Don't go and ruin it by being mad that he shared his his side here as well. What do you expect...word to not fester into the bonsai circle of this thread starting over the incident? One should have the right to offer clarity to a situation. And you agree that it was word for word how it went down. So...why is that wrong?

 

[Dav4]

Why is there so much drama in bonsai? This is a serious question as I've seen it throughout different communities.

It's not bonsai but the internet that allows people to act like this. This sort of crap only happens in person when you're in an airport.

 

[Cadillactaste]

Oh wait...two hours of sleep. I thought Jim's sharing was actually the one you had the beef with Stacy. Where actually his comment was even nicer...by being glad you were still going to vend. And...making light of himself as well.

 

[Anthony]

Darlene,

you are watching ---------- an old salesman technique ---------- create situations ------- make yourself seem to
be interesting --------- the longer you can hold the attention ---------- the greater the chance of a sale.

I suggest quietly, just leave it all alone.
Good Day
Anthony

 

[Cadillactaste]

Darlene,

you are watching ---------- an old salesman technique ---------- create situations ------- make yourself seem to
be interesting --------- the longer you can hold the attention ---------- the greater the chance of a sale.

I suggest quietly, just leave it all alone.
Good Day
Anthony

That is a great explanation @Anthony ! Because what the one posted...wasn't one that I could see make another upset. This grows old...fast. With that sort of explanation. I'm outta hear. Thanks my friend.

 

[namnhi]

@sawgrass,
I like your work especially scroll painting. I can understand some time you want to get your point heard but at the end of the day no one can change how the other person believe. Well when you sit back and analyze what is being argue, you will see that both sides has a point. It is okay to not participate in a debate where you know you not going to change any minds.

 

[music~maker]

Why is there so much drama in bonsai? This is a serious question as I've seen it throughout different communities.

Get a bunch of passionate humans together in one place, and it always happens in one form or another. Bonsai is no exception.

Human drama often boils down to things like:

• Needing to be right
• Needing to not be wrong
• Needing to look good
• Needing to not look bad
• Needing to be "better than X"
• Needing to not be "less than X"

At a pretty low level, our brains are designed to focus on such things, so it takes a conscious effort to let them go as they come up. The people I know who are best at avoiding these traps are the most drama free people I know. Those who are worst at it seem to attract nothing but drama in their lives, day after day. Most people I've met don't seem to know this is a thing.

Knowing is half the battle ...

 

[Bonsai Nut]

Why is there so much drama in bonsai? This is a serious question as I've seen it throughout different communities.

Drama is the human condition

It's like road rage. Why do people go nuts when driving a car from point A to point B? It's absolutely idiotic to get mad just because some stranger pulls in front of you or cuts you off... and yet I see it every day. Analyzed in a vacuum... that action costs you what? One or two seconds of your life? And yet some people view it as an attack on their persons - and fume about it for hours. One needs to be master of their emotions - instead of a slave to them.

And bonsai forums are actually pretty tame compared to many others.

 

[coh]

LOL Yea in Stacey's (@sawgrass) defense that guy is not super cool. It would have been easy to allow it to escalate. @coh did an awful lot to stoke the fire on both places...

How so?

I had nothing to do with the exchange between Stacy and the other guy...AT ALL. I wasn't involved and I didn't egg it on or stoke any fire. But I saw enough of the beginning and the aftermath that I felt it was necessary to provide some context when I saw Stacy's whining thread here. That may have been a mistake and it won't happen again.

BTW, I have no idea who "Jim" is but his comments seem to support my interpretation that this is all largely made up or imagined as is typical.

Most of the thread was a discussion about procumbens and was actually quite tame (more so than than in the thread here), the only part that got "ugly real fast" was the small exchange that prompted this thread.

If you're referring to comments that were made about this forum...hate to tell you, but that's how most in the bonsai community view this place.

 

[coh]

So Coh is your Friend...
Jim Beard is either apparently someone you know... or your friend? and you told him what to say here... and he just conviently joins this site.

Personally I have no idea who "Jim Beard" is.

As for the other comment...just for completeness, I'll mention that I received personal message comments regarding this topic from both "gastroGnome" on facebook, and Stacy here on bonsainut, both explaining things from their points of view.

I guess that means you are my friend as well?

 

[namnhi]

Drama is the human condition

It's like road rage. Why do people go nuts when driving a car from point A to point B? It's absolutely idiotic to get mad just because some stranger pulls in front of you or cuts you off... and yet I see it every day. Analyzed in a vacuum... that action costs you what? One or two seconds of your life? And yet some people view it as an attack on their persons - and fume about it for hours. One needs to be master of their emotions - instead of a slave to them.

And bonsai forums are actually pretty tame compared to many others.

I can't help it but I get upset if someone driving 60 on the left land that hold up the traffic.

 

[coh]

It's not bonsai but the internet that allows people to act like this. This sort of crap only happens in person when you're in an airport.

Oh man, imagine the fun if we could get all the active members of bonsainut onto a single flight together! A nice long trip to Japan should do.

 

[Dav4]

Oh man, imagine the fun if we could get all the active members of bonsainut onto a single flight together! A nice long trip to Japan should do.

Don't you get free booze on an international flight? I think we'd all get along famously... seriously.

 

[coh]

Don't you get free booze on an international flight? I think we'd all get along famously... seriously.

You're probably right. Context (facial expressions, tone) largely get lost on the internet and that plays a big role in the escalations that occur. Plus, I don't think people would say a lot of this stuff face to face. You know, the internet muscles disappear.

 

[Dav4]

You're probably right. Context (facial expressions, tone) largely get lost on the internet and that plays a big role in the escalations that occur. Plus, I don't think people would say a lot of this stuff face to face. You know, the internet muscles disappear.

Exactly. It's like road rage... people act like assholes in a car because they're physically separated. Put them next to each other in line at the movies and most will be courteous, polite... pretty much completely normal!

 

[my nellie]

... ... Plus, I don't think people would say a lot of this stuff face to face... ...

So, then if it is this anonymity which transforms them as rude and futile persons, they must be some frightened hypoctites who hide their misery behind a screen?
Or they are in reality this kind of persons (futile and rude) and they simply express their very own personality?
I tend to believe the second.

 

[coh]

So, then if it is this anonymity which transforms them as rude and futile persons, they must be some frightened hypoctites who hide their misery behind a screen?
Or they are in reality this kind of persons (futile and rude) and they simply express their very own personality?
I tend to believe the second.

I often wonder about that. I think in some cases it is the true personality coming through, but at other times it's just that people get caught up in the fray because there are no direct/immediate consequences. Not so much that they are frightened hypocrites, but just that it is easy to write things on an anonymous keyboard. There's no risk of someone knocking their teeth out.

That said, I know someone who wound up getting harassed (stuff was sent to their employer trying to get them fired, threatening phone calls at home, etc) because of something written on a forum...that seemed innocuous at the time. But the person on the other end was a crazy. You never know what you're dealing with.