Firm hand shakes

GroveKeeper

Shohin
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I'm a socially awkward person. Not cripplingly so... like, I do know how to engage people in conversation and stuff... even if my insides are filled with apprehension and dread. But one social interaction I can't figure out are handshakes.

Maybe this sounds silly to most people, but I don't know what to do when somebody shakes my hand. For whatever reason, some folks( men in particular) feel the need to squeeze the crap out of your hand during a hand shake. My instinct is just to squeeze back even harder. But despite how unassuming my hands are, I have a kung fu grip that catches people off. Perhaps I don't know my own strength but it's weird to see somebody's eyes go wide as I crush their hand like a bag of potato chips. Even weirder is consciously regulating how hard I shake someone's hand to find the sweetspot of respect worthy pressure that doesn't hurt their hand.

I'm sure that after so many years of working with trees, some of you must have unmerciful bear paws. I come to you asking for the secret knowledge locked away from the rest of the world,
 
Ha! Its Australian custom to shake hands, even some women will go for the shake over a hug. Some people go for the tight squeeze (a sign of dominance?), don't squeeze back for these folk. Let them stroke their ego, karma will bite them someway or another.
You want a firm grip but not too much pressure, its not a contest. And don't shake the crap out of them, just up and down, maybe twice. More than 2 up & down shakes and things are getting a little awkward, if you experience this moment eye contact should be avoided. During the handshake say something like "How ya goin'?"this ensure an ideal way to break the shake and then engage in conversation.
 
Some people go for the tight squeeze (a sign of dominance?),

Too tight is compensating for lack of dominance....
Over the top is the dominant handshake position.

@GroveKeeper why so many shakes?
Work?

My 5th grade Science teacher taught us how to shake hands....a woman!

There is an excellent article on it.

I always go with the same pressure.

If you learn body language it becomes easier to know how one will shake...and it becomes easier to match it.

However awkward for you....
It doesn't change their interpretation.
Don't let the awkwardness Rob you of the insight to THEM a handshake gives you.

Then play your cards accordingly.

Sorce
 
Interesting. My oldest son and I practiced shaking hands recently. I refused to shake his hand until he did it right. My oldest daughter got a kick out of me extending my hand, my son starting to extend his, and me pulling mine back (...before we'd grasped hands) and me saying "You're doing it wrong." He kept doing the same thing 3 or 4 times. (He was staring at my hand the whole time.) My oldest daughter finally told him, "You need to look at his eyes." I still got 3 to work on, but at least my oldest knows!

A firm grip is all that's ever called for. Anything more is a losing battle.
 
Interesting. My oldest son and I practiced shaking hands recently. I refused to shake his hand until he did it right. My oldest daughter got a kick out of me extending my hand, my son starting to extend his, and me pulling mine back (...before we'd grasped hands) and me saying "You're doing it wrong." He kept doing the same thing 3 or 4 times. (He was staring at my hand the whole time.) My oldest daughter finally told him, "You need to look at his eyes." I still got 3 to work on, but at least my oldest knows!

A firm grip is all that's ever called for. Anything more is a losing battle.
I vaguely remember my dad teaching this to me as an adolescent, too.
 
Grinding brass for 25 years......hands like granite, I'll crush your hand until ya' yelp!! And I don't even know I'm doing it!!
Of course, come the end of November, I can't feel my fingers until March!!:mad::(
 
How bout of someone grabs it real hard...

You just go "oooowch" in a whiny ass tone.....

And slap em with the other hand!

Lol... @LanceMac10
If I burn my fingers....they just turn yellow and brown for a few days!

Get all the way home and then find the J.Crack needle in your hand.

WTF.

Sorce
 
A firm grip and look 'em in the eyes is what I was always taught.
Also it was said to never trust a man with a weak grip, not sure why but I suspect it's based on the sort of old world bigotry my old man is a fan of.

Try dealing with the kiss thing they do here in Europe, give me a good handshake any day.
 
A firm grip and look 'em in the eyes is what I was always taught.
Also it was said to never trust a man with a weak grip, not sure why but I suspect it's based on the sort of old world bigotry my old man is a fan of.

Try dealing with the kiss thing they do here in Europe, give me a good handshake any day.

Ha! I can only imagine I would be in trouble pretty quick!! See a girl purse her lips and lean in?
"Honest, gendarme.....I thought she wanted to kneck!!!!
 
When I worked at a living history museum (Pioneer Village) years ago, old (mostly) European men would come into the various trade shops and say something along the lines of "I did this work in my country." Then they would extend a hand, and clamp on with a vise grip. This led me to develop a rather strong grip of my own, which I then had to temper when shaking hands with "normal" people.
 
If I am correct, the handshake began as a way of showing an empty hand. It's not a contest, but its not a surrender either so a "dead fish" is just a bad as a clamp.
I'm not a fan of the "pump" and especially dislike when a guy gives you a pull.
Wipe you hand on your pants if it tends to be damp, please.
CW
 
Yep yep it started out as a gesture showing your hands are free of weapons.

If I get the cold dead fish for a handshake I'll probably never shake that guys hand again, although I would like to crush their hand, I resist lol
 
Yep yep it started out as a gesture showing your hands are free of weapons.

If I get the cold dead fish for a handshake I'll probably never shake that guys hand again, although I would like to crush their hand, I resist lol

If you shook my hand....I would make sure it was sweaty.....then I'd be scannin it for gold dust!

Saving for a JWP import !

Sorce
 
Long ago, when I was selling houses, I shook a guys hand and it was all slimy. I looked at my hand then at him and he actually said "sorry,I sneezed".

Never saw him again of course.
CW
 
Long ago, when I was selling houses, I shook a guys hand and it was all slimy. I looked at my hand then at him and he actually said "sorry,I sneezed".

Never saw him again of course.
CW

I can't like that!

OMG!
JFC!
WTF !

Sorce
 
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