The I hate "insert tree" thread

Balsam Poplar
Populus balsamifera ssp. balsamifera

Drops enough sticky residue you have to peel your windshield wipers off with your now sticky hands. The pollen can get so thick it becomes difficult to breath without coughing. There is no commercial use for it. When you burn it, it doesn’t burn hot and it leaves a lot of ash. You don’t want to cook over it. They love to hide widowmakers, dead half rotten branches that fall with the littles disturbance or just because you are near. I’ve had two very close calls, one broke small branches on me as it fell with the 25 cm thick branch land less the then two meters from me. You can’t use any dead wood for a bush fire because it is always rotten. So yea, I’m not a fan.
 
Money trees. They’re ugly as hell, yet every single household and business establishment has them. It is also the only thing you can buy in any nursery out here. I love trees, but this is the only thing I’ll burn if it comes into my house
 
Jzack605 said:
They look beautiful in flower, and there are certainly a few specimens that I admire (like the "survivor tree" at the 9/11 memorial), but I HATE ornamental pear trees like Bradford and Cleveland Pears. They split wood due to their growth habit and have many disease problems; pear trellis disease in particular which you are likely to get when planted near a damn juniper. So you immediately create a liability for your landscape with planting Pyrus in the vicinity of Juniper. They're also common street trees here in NY which is no surprise seeing municipalities here have no idea on how to chose the right tree for the right location.
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Oh man, Bradford Pears are the worst. Aside from their weak branch structure and smelling horrible, they cross-breed and spread like wildfire. And they bloom earlier than the native trees so they crowd out the other understory trees and wipe out native ecosystems. They are a disater for the balance of the environment. You can see whole fields completely choked with them along the highways where I live. I don't just dislike them, I find them upsetting.
 
Fukien tea-carmona retusa
Can't keep them happy to save my life.
I can bring them back from the dead only to kill them off a few months later.
Throw the whole species away.
 
@just.wing.it no offense towards you, but taxus are creatures from the depths of hell and should be treated as such. The myths, the folklore and the traditions surrounding taxus are drenched in death and decay.
Those things are satanic to say the least.

I like myself some good death metal anytime. But not embodied in a plant with the corpse paint to show for it.

If you're a fan of intelligent design, I think this is how it played out: "Let me make a tree that rots from the core outwards, make it toxic, make its leaves look like a spruce.. but in 2D! Give it satanic looking protrusions and it's wood colored like mixed molten crayons, hard enough to break expensive tools, oh and sticky berries! But instead of the berries being round, I want them to be suction cup-shaped, and toxic as well, but in a delicious appetizing color. People shouldn't fuck with me and i want the taxus to be an example. Make it look permantently sad. And every story that incorporates these trees will have like, super evil things happening."
 
Wires_Guy_wires said:
@just.wing.it no offense towards you, but taxus are creatures from the depths of hell and should be treated as such. The myths, the folklore and the traditions surrounding taxus are drenched in death and decay.
Those things are satanic to say the least.

I like myself some good death metal anytime. But not embodied in a plant with the corpse paint to show for it.

If you're a fan of intelligent design, I think this is how it played out: "Let me make a tree that rots from the core outwards, make it toxic, make its leaves look like a spruce.. but in 2D! Give it satanic looking protrusions and it's wood colored like mixed molten crayons, hard enough to break expensive tools, oh and sticky berries! But instead of the berries being round, I want them to be suction cup-shaped, and toxic as well, but in a delicious appetizing color. People shouldn't fuck with me and i want the taxus to be an example. Make it look permantently sad. And every story that incorporates these trees will have like, super evil things happening."
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Lol!, great summary!
Yeah I'm aware of some lore from the small island nation of England, regarding the hedgerows and the witches and churches...

Maybe it was meant to be, for me...
I've always been sort of intrigued with death and what may be waiting for our souls on the other side....its certainly a topic that I think of often.

I'll list the pros:
-hardy as hell
-sun or shade
-strong dead wood (rivals juniper, imho)
-beautiful red bark, contrasts well with dead wood and foliage
-beautiful neon green spring shoots, contrast well with mature hardened foliage
-foliage growing upright is "3D florets" and horizontal foliage is "2D flat"
-disease and pest free, largely
-male plants (which I have) have wierd flowers and no berries
-most of all, I think they like me...I have great success with them so far.
 
just.wing.it said:
Lol!, great summary!
Yeah I'm aware of some lore from the small island nation of England, regarding the hedgerows and the witches and churches...

Maybe it was meant to be, for me...
I've always been sort of intrigued with death and what may be waiting for our souls on the other side....its certainly a topic that I think of often.

I'll list the pros:
-hardy as hell
-sun or shade
-strong dead wood (rivals juniper, imho)
-beautiful red bark, contrasts well with dead wood and foliage
-beautiful neon green spring shoots, contrast well with mature hardened foliage
-foliage growing upright is "3D florets" and horizontal foliage is "2D flat"
-disease and pest free, largely
-male plants (which I have) have wierd flowers and no berries
-most of all, I think they like me...I have great success with them so far.
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I have one too, got is as a gift. This "Pine" is indestructable. Dried multiple times, unrooted, dug from its pot, drowned, scourched by the sun.. It just does not give up. It doesnt care. It's satanic.
 
just.wing.it said:
Dang, @Lazylightningny and @Wires_Guy_wires !
Awe, jeez...
Hating on my favorite one man!...
Taxus are AWESOME!
LOL! ?

As for my shitlist...I think the top spot has to go to Picea Abies....for no other reason than I can't even look at them without them committing suicide....
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I've had bad luck with picea so far, but I have 2 that I just bare rooted and they seem to be doing well. I love the way they look, but have not done well with them so far. New tactics, new results.
 
Lazylightningny said:
I've had bad luck with picea so far, but I have 2 that I just bare rooted and they seem to be doing well. I love the way they look, but have not done well with them so far. New tactics, new results.
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I'll try that!
Thanks!
The 4 or 5 that I've killed never got to the root work...they died in their nursery soil.
 
I hate Birches, Weeping Willow, and Magnolia grandiflora...

All are beautiful trees from a distance, but I hate constantly cleaning up after these trees; talk about trash trees.

After raking up all of the fallen debris, come back an hour later and you have to clean up again. Literally endless time spent picking up the huge magnolia leaves, and fucking birch twigs and 6' willow branches.

Guaranteed, at least every other house in Richmond has either a birch or magnolia :mad::mad::mad:
 
Lazylightningny said:
That was also my problem. After a thread with @Osoyoung, I'm experimenting with bare rooting a variety of plants.
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I've had great luck fully bare rooting many of my trees, and I am an advocate of getting the nursery cheap out asap.
 
just.wing.it said:
I've had great luck fully bare rooting many of my trees, and I am an advocate of getting the nursery cheap out asap.
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Think leaving them in nursery soil is contributing to my terrible success rate with overwintering trees?
 
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