The I hate "insert tree" thread

[just.wing.it]

Think leaving them in nursery soil is contributing to my terrible success rate with overwintering trees?

Mmm, hard to say...but staying too wet all winter certainly is not good.

 

[skyrat]

I hate Birches, Weeping Willow, and Magnolia grandiflora...

All are beautiful trees from a distance, but I hate constantly cleaning up after these trees; talk about trash trees.

After raking up all of the fallen debris, come back an hour later and you have to clean up again. Literally endless time spent picking up the huge magnolia leaves, and fucking birch twigs and 6' willow branches.

Guaranteed, at least every other house in Richmond has either a birch or magnolia

I can't think of any yardwork task I dislike more than having to rake up magnolia leaves in the summer. I love magnolias...but only when they are on other people's property. I would never willingly choose to be in charge of maintaining one.

 

[skyrat]

@just.wing.it no offense towards you, but taxus are creatures from the depths of hell and should be treated as such. The myths, the folklore and the traditions surrounding taxus are drenched in death and decay.
Those things are satanic to say the least.

I like myself some good death metal anytime. But not embodied in a plant with the corpse paint to show for it.

If you're a fan of intelligent design, I think this is how it played out: "Let me make a tree that rots from the core outwards, make it toxic, make its leaves look like a spruce.. but in 2D! Give it satanic looking protrusions and it's wood colored like mixed molten crayons, hard enough to break expensive tools, oh and sticky berries! But instead of the berries being round, I want them to be suction cup-shaped, and toxic as well, but in a delicious appetizing color. People shouldn't fuck with me and i want the taxus to be an example. Make it look permantently sad. And every story that incorporates these trees will have like, super evil things happening."

It's not all death and decay in mythology. In the Celtic Ogham it's the tree of reincarnation, wisdom, longevity, and is supposed to protect you from evil spirits....

 

[Carol 83]

I can't think of any yardwork task I dislike more than having to rake up magnolia leaves in the summer. I love magnolias...but only when they are on other people's property. I would never willingly choose to be in charge of maintaining one.

There is a lot of cussing around our house, when our Southern Magnolia dumps it's leaves on our patio every day for weeks. But it shades our patio, and the flowers are gigantic. Still, my husband threatens to cut it down every year....

 

[Dan92119]

Brazilian pepper tree. The grow way too fast. Suckers like crazy. Invasive. Like poison ivy to some people. Grows 6 - 7 feet a year horizontally into my yard from a neighbor. Super hard to kill. RTU roundup won’t work. I buy the concentrate roundup or poison ivy killer concentrate and make super strong mix to kill it in my yard.

 

[BrianBay9]

Brazilian pepper tree. The grow way too fast. Suckers like crazy. Invasive. Like poison ivy to some people. Grows 6 - 7 feet a year horizontally into my yard from a neighbor. Super hard to kill. RTU roundup won’t work. I buy the concentrate roundup or poison ivy killer concentrate and make super strong mix to kill it in my yard.

Sounds like a great bonsai subject! Hard to kill, hardy, aggressive grower - not sure about the contact dermatitis thing though. The only thing keeping me from trying one is managing those huge compound leaves.

 

[Dan92119]

Sounds like a great bonsai subject! Hard to kill, hardy, aggressive grower - not sure about the contact dermatitis thing though. The only thing keeping me from trying one is managing those huge compound leaves.

So I just did a search and there are Brazilian pepper tree bonsai!! They look nice, but wouldn’t want one.

 

[Wires_Guy_wires]

It's not all death and decay in mythology. In the Celtic Ogham it's the tree of reincarnation, wisdom, longevity, and is supposed to protect you from evil spirits....

Right, right, that's exactly what an evil spirit would say. ;-)

 

[peterbone]

I hate Chinese Privet when used for bonsai. It just reminds me too much of suburban hedges and will never look natural to me.

I share others hatred of Sumac. I had one in my garden that threw up suckers everywhere so I cut it down. 2 years later and it's still throwing up suckers. I have to remove them every few days. I've seen several other gardens overrun with it.

I hate azalea bonsai when in flower. Looks like a bunch of flowers.

 

[stevek]

I hate taxus, and no one can convince me otherwise, because it's related to unhappy childhood memories. I grew up in a bad neighborhood in Jackson Heights, Queens, NYC, where all the fugly brick apartment buildings full of us sardines packed together in greasy oil were landscaped with yews and their nasty red berries. Every time I look at an effing taxus it reminds me of that part of my miserable life and I want to pour gasoline on them and burn them all.

Ok, maybe just a liiiiitle excessive; but really, I do hate taxus.

Are there any trees you hate, and why?

I like yews, you can't do no wrong with one, chopping, pruning, wiring, weather. being from Elmhurst 47 years ago, it wasn't bad for me, except when they tore down a single family and put up a six family home. when I left, it was taking me 45 minutes to find a parking space. 1 car to 6 cars, in the same area, ugh. swamp maple is my worst in this area. short trunks, long multiple branches constantly dropping leaf groups and twigs. sk.

 

[It's Kev]

Lol!, great summary!
Yeah I'm aware of some lore from the small island nation of England, regarding the hedgerows and the witches and churches...

Maybe it was meant to be, for me...
I've always been sort of intrigued with death and what may be waiting for our souls on the other side....its certainly a topic that I think of often.

I'll list the pros:
-hardy as hell
-sun or shade
-strong dead wood (rivals juniper, imho)
-beautiful red bark, contrasts well with dead wood and foliage
-beautiful neon green spring shoots, contrast well with mature hardened foliage
-foliage growing upright is "3D florets" and horizontal foliage is "2D flat"
-disease and pest free, largely
-male plants (which I have) have wierd flowers and no berries
-most of all, I think they like me...I have great success with them so far.

seems like i should really get me one, i'm still at the level where i can only have bulletproof trees

 

[Lazylightningny]

I like yews, you can't do no wrong with one, chopping, pruning, wiring, weather. being from Elmhurst 47 years ago, it wasn't bad for me, except when they tore down a single family and put up a six family home. when I left, it was taking me 45 minutes to find a parking space. 1 car to 6 cars, in the same area, ugh. swamp maple is my worst in this area. short trunks, long multiple branches constantly dropping leaf groups and twigs. sk.

Homie! Lol I couldn't wait to get out of Queens. After HS, I moved to Utah and ended up being there for 8 years. That's God's country and I miss it.