I feel the only dimension that can be too big is depth. I try to keep between 5-7" depth these days.
Width is only a matter of practicality. How much space do you have vs how important a nebari is to you.
Yes, there is truth to bigger soil volumes maintaining more moisture...but there are limits. For a given depth, surface area goes up faster than perimeter. Once you get to larger sizes, evaporation from the surface can start to have significant effect on moisture levels down to a few inches. My trees in wider pots need MORE frequent watering than the smaller pots.
Then there's the nebari to consider. Our intuition tends to trick us into thinking trees grow different than they do. That branch at 6" off the soil will still be at 6" off the soil after the tree doubles in size. It will not stretch up to 12". Except at the extension points, new growth consumes old growth...it doesn't lengthen it.
IMO, if you want a 6" nebari at the end of the day, you need to start with a 12" or wider pot! The tree may fit in a 6" pot but once the roots hit the walls, they turn...and now they no longer have the room to flare as we might expect. You also get a lot more crossing roots in smaller pots as the tree buds back new roots attempting to draw in more resources to power growth. Newly budded roots can't grow through existing roots so they grow around them...
As far as wind, I have trees that tip over even in 20"+ pots (well, bags...I use grow bags). If the canopies do not interfere, I will pack them next to each other for support. Or I just stand them back up every time I pass them. The problem with tipping, though, is that it reorients gravity and affects the water column. You can get an asymmetric nebari if the tree spends too much time on its side. Young growth will also bend up and towards the light.
The deer pruned off all the low growth on a slippery elm that was a yard volunteer a few years ago. Because of that, I decided to put it in a bonsai pot before its time
The tree was in a 5 gallon grow bag filled to 5" deep. The tree was about 5' tall. The trunk was laser beam straight up in relation to the soil. But it's obvious which side it rested on when it tipped over!