What was the worst or most humorous comments you have been given?

[jeanluc83]

There was a thread recently started on the best advice you've received. What about the other end of the spectrum. What are the worst, most useless and most humorous comments you’ve received?

Here are a couple to start it off:

"I think it's dead." - My wife's response to a red maple stump that I collected. To her credit it did end up dying but it made it all summer fairly healthy.

"What are you doing with all those trees out there? They don't look much like bonsai." - A family friend after seeing my black pine seedlings.

"You bought pine trees...? Couldn't you have just gone out to the woods and dug some up?!" – My wife's response when I received a batch of bare root JBP seedlings.

 

[Paul G]

When I told my dad I was getting into the hobby he asked if I was also going to try to catch flies with chopsticks

 

[Adair M]

I have heard some whoppers over the years, but a couple stand out:

I was in a workshop held by a nationally known bonsai artist, supposedly taking a "wiring class", when he comes out and says, "well, the best bonsai aren't wired"!

I couldn't believe my ears. Until...

Ten minutes later, he comes over to my station, picks up my roll of number 10 gauge wire and cuts off a 5 inch piece. He then cuts each end at a angle to make a sharp point. He goes on to brag that he invented this technique: he bends a branch down, and jabs one end of the wire into the top of the branch he's holding down, then pushes the other end into the trunk of the tree. Thus propping the branch down. He claimed this was just as effective as wiring the traditional way!

Seriously, I was aghast! Until...

The class was in October. Late October. Then then tells everyone working on a JBP to decandle their tree. Right then. Everyone did, except me. I didn't say anything, or argue. I just didn't do what he said.

 

[MACH5]

That's a good one Adair! I am giving that one a go!


One of the worst ones for me came from this site. I can't quote it exactly but it went something like this: "who cares if anyone likes it, it is your tree and your vision. This is art and you do whatever pleases you".


EDIT: This was a comment made on a very poorly designed tree.


..... yes the sad face is also crying.

 

[Stan Kengai]

I once had a master gardener tell me I should be arrested for "torturing those poor plants by cutting off all their roots and not giving them any fertilizer". All just from the mention of bonsai, and without even seeing my garden. To make matters worse, the pot (I being the kettle in this case) is always growing perennial tropicals in her yard as annuals and constantly killing potted plants. I have invited her over and tried to explain bonsai to her many times, to no avail because she "already knows" about bonsai.

 

[edprocoat]

Years ago I had a similar experience to Stan's posted above me. On an Rv park I had my Bonsai setting out and different people would stop by and comment, usually complimentary but this one couple came up and said "You are one of those control freaks who torture trees by wiring them and keeping them from growing" from memory but close to the actual wording. I was floored naturally so I offered them the opportunity to have sex with themselves.

ed

 

[johng]

nice moss!

 

[BrianBay9]

From a show judge:

"That's a very contemporary bonsai display! 'Contemporary' and 'bonsai' should never be used in the same sentence".

 

[M. Frary]

A funny one that I remember was a member posted about how he collected pine or fir bark by going out and rubbing it off of the sides of trees. I posted that I thought that was hilarious and he came back with" what can I say? I like mine fresh." Hahahahaha that still kills me.

 

[Eric Group]

I went to the Chicago botanical gardens with my family and when we were viewing the Bonsai my brother and mothers PT talking about how out of place the "dead" branches looked on the Juniper... He said he wanted to just break them off.

I heard the "tree torture" comments a lot in the early years too.. Of course, during that time what I was doing to the trees probably qualified as torture! LOL

 

[Brian Van Fleet]

"The Phoenix Graft shimpaku won viewers' choice again."

 

[Skinnygoomba]

One of my friends asked me what my bonsai cost because he wanted to buy one for his office. I think it was supposed to be a compliment but it felt very similar to people asking me how much I spend on the wood when I build a piece of furniture.

 

[edprocoat]

"The Phoenix Graft shimpaku won viewers' choice again."

You jealous bastard !




ed

 

[Gene Deci]

Visitor: "What are those?"
Me: "Those are my bonsai."
Visitor: "Yeah. They look kind of Japanese."

 

[QuintinBonsai]

"How awesome, but it's too bad those trees have to be tortured to look like they do."

 

[sorce]

The "do what makes you happy" really should stop.

Watched a video from a civilian at a Botanical Garden. Said. You see they put that wire on there to keep it from growing!

M.Frary! I remember" i like mine fresh". Lol.

Robert Stevens should make a show in a torture chamber!

Sorce

 

[tmmason10]

Asking my father if he wanted to attend my first show. I'll paraphrase:

"No, I don't care about that crap!"

This makes my father sound a lot meaner than he really is. But in fairness, he was at a car show that day so I don't blame him.

 

[Nybonsai12]

Asking my father if he wanted to attend my first show. I'll paraphrase:

"No, I don't care about that crap!"

This makes my father sound a lot meaner than he really is. But in fairness, he was at a car show that day so I don't blame him.

Wow like a brother from another mother, sounds like my dad only mine really is that mean.

 

[tmmason10]

Wow like a brother from another mother, sounds like my dad only mine really is that mean.

Ha fair enough, but seriously my father is far from unkind. My best description is unfiltered.

 

[coh]

One of my favorites:

"Just because you choose to continue to use what you do and have success with it does not mean anything one way or the other."

Priceless!