Does ANYONE really like or appreciate the bitchiness on this site?

milehigh_7 said:
I'll be honest for a second @Gsquared I posted something almost exactly like this somewhere between 8 and 10 years ago. The peeps had some fun with me, I got pissed they had more fun with me. Then I grew up and chilled out. Nighty nite. I mean it this time.
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Lol...I was half tempted to tell a certain someone...shouldn't you go to bed? Wonder who that person was...oh wait...you! Get some sleep bud. You don't get to sleep long. ?
 
Gsquared said:
I've been a member on this site for a couple of months now, and have found some really useful answers to some questions I've asked. I have encountered some delightful, kind and helpful people. I sincerely thank them for that, so please don't read the following as an indictment of the entire community.

Regrettably I have also found that there are certain members on Bonsai Nut who are unpleasant bullies and seem generally dreadful people. We've all seen posters whose responses are nasty and downright cruel. Some of them have titles like "masterpiece", but their behavior is anything but masterful. A true master guides the apprentice so that they can master their art. They do it through instruction and critique, not by ripping them a new one because they ask a question.

I can't stay silent any more. I've seen people who are new to bonsai get ripped to shreds for asking a question. I seen posts that call members stupid. I've seen members unhelpfully criticize aesthetic decisions. Critique is constructive and offers solutions. Frequently someone will ask a question and get slammed by a member because their tree hadn't enough taper in the trunk when they were asking for help with aphids! I've seen someone call legit questions "insipid". I have seen posts that have rudely told members that they "didn't think they have what it takes" and I've seen other members defending their abominable behavior. Not cool. Defending cruelty just because someone has had a long association with this site is just as reprehensible and shouldn't be tolerated.

This is not about "growing a thicker skin" as many have suggested. This is about developing some manners, this is about having simple decency. It's about putting the feelings of someone else ahead of your desire to toss out a withering quip for your own amusement. It's about learning that your crap stinks when you spew it forth, and that it hurts people when you do. Calling people stupid, or their questions insipid, or some of the sexist remarks I've seen are just abusive and it isn't acceptable. It doesn't impress and frankly, if I were the moderator, I would yank abusive users off the site. Period.

So how do we clean up our act? By speaking out. From now on, when I encounter a remark that is truly mean spirited and not constructive, I'm going to call that person out for their abusive behavior and would encourage others to do the same.
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Are you bitching about our bitchieness? ;)
 
milehigh_7 said:
I'll be honest for a second @Gsquared I posted something almost exactly like this somewhere between 8 and 10 years ago. The peeps had some fun with me, I got pissed they had more fun with me. Then I grew up and chilled out. Nighty nite. I mean it this time.
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You were an oversensitive child? I think the proper term was, little beotch.
 
As far as I've noticed, this is actually the least bitching bonsai forum I could find. That's why I signed up.
I'm not a native english speaker so to me, it's harder to see the nuance, the sarcasm. I've been working with Americans for a few years now, and if anything, I dislike the giant sugarcoats embedded in some comments.
If I ask for opinions, I'd like them plain, uncut, vanilla, as if they come straight from the brain.
If I find they're too harsh, then the internet-reflex should kick in: don't look, don't take the bait, don't feed the trolls, wash it off.
When wrestling a pig in the mud.. That kind of thing.

I like it here, with and without the bitchiness.
 
Gsquared said:
if I were the moderator, I would yank abusive users off the site.
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Too bad you aren't then,huh?
You would like it all hugs and kisses around here?
It ain't going to happen.
Some of us don't go for all of the kumbaya crap. "Nice tree!,Good job!,Here's a pat on the back for your stick in a pot."
That gets old fast and doesn't help anyone at all in the end.
If you don't like some members replies,use the ignore function.
If you want atta boys or job well done you might want to try a different forum. There's one like that. They get like 25 new posts in a month. A real barn burner,they are.
If you want to learn something about bonsai,I suggest you pull up your big girl panties and read and listen to what's actually being posted here.
If not, nobody will stop you from leaving.
 
M. Frary said:
Too bad you aren't then,huh?
You would like it all hugs and kisses around here?
It ain't going to happen.
Some of us don't go for all of the kumbaya crap. "Nice tree!,Good job!,Here's a pat on the back for your stick in a pot."
That gets old fast and doesn't help anyone at all in the end.
If you don't like some members replies,use the ignore function.
If you want atta boys or job well done you might want to try a different forum. There's one like that. They get like 25 new posts in a month. A real barn burner,they are.
If you want to learn something about bonsai,I suggest you pull up your big girl panties and read and listen to what's actually being posted here.
If not, nobody will stop you from leaving.
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I am still scratching my head about these alleged abusive users? I haven't seen it. The OP should really look elsewhere before he knocks this message board.
 
JoeH said:
am still scratching my head about these alleged abusive users?
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Me too!
Those are the kind of posts I love.
Maybe it's me?
But no. I haven't been a dick too much lately.
I really should channel my inner sawgrass,S,A,M. more often.
I miss that guy.
He could really bring It!
 
M. Frary said:
Me too!
Those are the kind of posts I love.
Maybe it's me?
But no. I haven't been a dick too much lately.
I really should channel my inner sawgrass,S,A,M. more often.
I miss that guy.
He could really bring It!
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I mean I just don't see it here. Maybe its just that my crap isn't all that bad?
 
Being relatively new here, I'm ok with most of the bitchiness but sometimes it does get a bit out of hand.
I do appreciate the honesty though, I hate forums where it's all butterflies and sunshine because people are afraid of stepping on toes or getting banned.
Sometimes people need to be told what they are doing sucks, try again.
 
GailC said:
Being relatively new here, I'm ok with most of the bitchiness but sometimes it does get a bit out of hand.
I do appreciate the honesty though, I hate forums where it's all butterflies and sunshine because people are afraid of stepping on toes or getting banned.
Sometimes people need to be told what they are doing sucks, try again.
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Again, I would really like to see an example of this. Post a link, provide some evidence.
 
I have seen a lot of patience with some of the really basic questions that get asked over and over and over and over. I also see a great deal of really good advice given out. The only "bitchiness" I see either in fun between veterans or directed toward someone who just refuses to "get it."
 
If you truly don’t like it, go to reddit where you will get your knob polished over POS mallsai you care to showcase.

Or use the ignore feature.

Those are the solutions. Take them or leave them.

I’d like to add that this isn’t your personal blog, so this open letter approach is really pompous.
 
JoeH said:
OK, thanks, that one is a good example of jackassery
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No.
It's a good example of someone getting a straight answer.
Maybe a little research on the original posters part on privet before he posted would have helped.
It's like collecting or buying trees you don't even know what they are and asking what they are and will it make a good bonsai.
 
JoeH said:
After trying out Bonsai Empire, this place is a breath of fresh air. I have not noticed or experienced the "bitchiness" you refer to. Way better and way more helpful than elsewhere. Not sure where you are seeing this but some examples would go a long way to demonstrate what you are talking about.
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I agree, most of the time I seem to be the target of those kinds of accusations and unless posts are being read that I have not posted on I have no clue who and what he is talking about. Most of the time lately, I avoid any kind of response to any one on anything due to the fact every body seems to know everything any way. However; this subject is kind of a slap in the face. After all--- if you are accusing people you could at least provide names, and instances, and events. In the immortal words of Rooster Cogburn: "No one likes to be called low down and foul smelling"
 
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